The Year of the Rabbit

Last January when the year was new, a woman came into my work and hung a poster for the Chinese New Year celebration. On that poster was a rabbit, as 2011 was to be the year of the rabbit in the Chinese zodiac. Trying to make conversation I told her that I had been born in the year of the rabbit.

She looked at me with wise eyes and smiled with much more excitement than I expected. “Oh!” she replied. “Then this is your year.”

This is your year.

That sentence has been ringing through my mind each month of this epic 2011. Shortly after my foreshadowing encounter with that mystic Chinese prophetess, Rob and I learned that we were going to have a baby.

In February we told our families our happy news. I spent most of that month lying on the couch reading Harry Potter, and going to bed exhausted at 8:00 p.m. every night. I went to the doctor for the first time, heard my sweet baby’s heartbeat, and had my first ultrasound. I watched that baby kick its tiny feet and wiggle around and I felt my own heart begin a great expansion inside my chest.

In April we saw our baby on the screen again. We learned that we were having a baby girl, and even more importantly that she looked perfectly healthy. I couldn’t believe my luck.

Through spring and summer as my belly grew I worked on our baby girl’s nursery and shopped for tiny dresses and onesies. I spent many an evening bent over my sewing machine or on the couch wielding my crochet hooks as I made little things for our little lady.

I dreamed about her, felt her move in my belly, and wondered what she would look like, and who she would become. I anticipated both labor and motherhood with fear and excitement, each equally strong as they pressed on my vulnerable heart.

September, the month of Baby G’s arrival, finally came and we waited for her to make her appearance. Each day was scrutinized for signs that our daughter was coming. Each morning I woke up and went to work, and that baby girl just stayed right where she was. Finally on the second-to-last day of the month, Magnolia was born. My baby girl, born in the year of the rabbit, just like her mother (and father, incidentally) before her.

The rest of this fateful year has been spent loving that little girl as much as we possibly can and reflecting on how incredibly blessed we are.

Pregnancy and parenthood aside (if they can ever really be cast aside), this year has been wonderful for many reasons. I was able to work at a job I loved on a challenging and worthwhile project, right up until I had Magnolia. Rob pursued a brand new major at the start of this year and took off with guns a blazing. He balanced his courses with internships and a new job and the future looks bright before him in that regard. He’ll be finished with his bachelor’s degree in just one more year, and after that, who knows where the winds of fortune will take us. The happy tone and lucky spirit of this year leads me to believe that it will be somewhere great.

I read on a placemat at our favorite Chinese restaurant in town that the rabbit is the luckiest of all zodiac signs. I don’t really take much stock in horoscopes or any of that stuff, but that woman was absolutely right. This lucky year of the rabbit was mine.

I don’t mean to say that in the sense that it belonged to me and no one else. But this year was mine because it was given to me. A gift. A blessing. 2011 was full of perfect days, of peace and of happiness, and also of struggle and growth like I’ve never experienced. It transformed me; it opened up my life and made everything new.

Last January I made the following resolution:

“Enjoy 2011. I feel like in a lot of ways 2010 slipped away from me, that I was just in survival mode, trying to get through things. I don't like living that way. Even though this coming year has more uncertainty than any other year I've yet lived, I'm going to try my hardest to appreciate each day, week, and month of it. I want a year that I've filled with memories, hard work, progress, and love, and not one that speeds by because I'm waiting for something better to come along.”

Though more than a couple of my other resolutions fell by the wayside, I am proud to say that I accomplished this one, the most important one I made this year. I think more than anything, my daughter taught me how to enjoy my life in the present. I didn’t want to wish the precious experience of being pregnant away, so instead I chose to enjoy it. As soon as she was born I was immediately hit with the knowledge that she will grow so much faster than I would like her to, and since I can’t keep time from flying by, I’ve tried so hard to enjoy each day, instead of dwelling on trials or negative things and wishing our lives away. I did more than just enjoy 2011. I loved it with all of my heart.

In the very last minute of 2011, I couldn’t help but feel sad to say goodbye. But as the clock turned and the ball dropped, my sadness turned to hope as my little family (that silly baby still awake at that unreasonable hour) greeted its first new year together. 2011, my year, the year of the rabbit, was one that will stand out in my book of life. But I am far too optimistic, and not quite superstitious enough, to believe that I won’t have another such year until the year of the rabbit comes again in 12 years. Taking the lesson that I learned from this sweet and sacred year, I’ve decided to make my own luck. I’ve decided that every year henceforth will be mine. Every year a gift. Every year a blessing.