Rob & Vienna Goates

Nothing in Particular

2012-01-16T21:47:00.002-07:00

We've had a lovely lazy day here at our place. We slept in late, spent the day watching movies and eating cookies, and did not much of anything else. It was sure a swell day.

I felt a little unproductive by the time evening rolled around so I decided to make Miss Magnolia some new headbands. A lot of her old ones are getting too small and she's transitioning into the next size up in clothes so naturally I've got to make sure she's got the accessories to match her outfits.
Of course I took some frequent breaks to snuggle my little gal and laugh at her crazy antics. She keeps doing this weird scream thing that's super funny when she wants attention (which is, naturally, all the time), and she was laughing a lot when we would give her said attention. She sure is a delight. Although it is really hard to operate a hot glue gun when a needy baby is constantly whining at you. I don't think she understood that I was working in the name of baby fashion and it would all be to her benefit.

You've gotta love those three-day weekends, am I right? I hope you all enjoyed yours too.

Little Miss Learns to Sit (Kinda)

2012-01-11T00:18:00.004-07:00

"Hello, my name is Magnolia. I really like sitting. Especially with this Boppy here for moral (and actual) support."

"By the way, look at these fabulous ruffles. Not only are they fun to grab, but I also look darling in them."

"I can totally ace this sitting business. Take away the Boppy and I'll show you. I'll show you real good."

"Told you. I don't mess around. Straight up."

"Okay, I know it may look like I'm about to fall over, but I promise you I'm not. I just like leaning forward a little."

"On second thought, maybe I lied."

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Hey, while I'm down here, I might as well eat me some hand. Next to sitting of course, hand-eating is my favorite thing."

"Now I will lay here and think about how I can achieve a bit more finesse when it comes to sitting. Also, I'm pretty sure this pose makes me look very cute and picture worthy, so I'll humor my mommy for a second but if she takes too many more I'm going to have to start whining, because let's face it, I'm pretty much stuck in this position until she picks me up."

I Resolve:

2012-01-06T23:40:00.005-07:00

To try to use what little free time I might have to exercise once in awhile. I know that's really unspecific, which is against the rules of goal setting, but my baby's pretty needy and she doesn't take naps. So I have to use the rare 15 or 20 minutes when I can trick her into falling asleep to do things like shower or tidy up a bit. But I would really like to shed some more baby weight as this year progresses, so I aim to try to exercise if and when I can.

To go to the temple at least once a month. Last year I was terrible about going. I had all sorts of weird excuses when I was pregnant (What if I faint? What if I get hungry/sick/fall asleep/have to go to the bathroom/my dress doesn't fit????). I feel really bad about that and need to make up for it.

To make another quilt. I decided like two days ago that I'm going to make a queen-sized quilt for our bed. Yeah I might be crazy, but I already had most of the fabric and I've been wanting something new for our bed for awhile. So I'm going to attempt it. Yikes.

To crochet a full-sized throw. I've only ever done baby ones before, and they get kind of boring, but I love those gorgeous afghans and every time I see pictures of them my heart longs for one. I think I want to do a zig zag, but I'm not 100% set on that. In fact, I have a huge suspicion that this resolution will probably not come to pass, but I really want to do it, so I'm just putting this out there.

To plan dinners and grocery shopping. I really hate deciding what we're going to have for dinner, and even more, I hate deciding something and then realizing we don't have stuff for it, which results in us having hot pockets for dinner or else getting McDonalds or pizza or something. I've wanted to plan menus for awhile, but when I was working I did not want to use any of my free time to do that. But now, I think that I will.

How's that for a list of super wishy-washy resolutions, eh? In some ways I dunno why I bothered. I should have just said, "Happy 2012, hope it's a good one, cheers!" and been done with it. But there are just so many things I want to do, like make awesome and pretty things, write, be skinny and fabulous, cook delicious food, read all the books on the endless list of books I want to read, learn new skills, be more spiritual, have a better attitude, etc. etc. etc. I want to do everything that's good, and be way better than I am, and feel like I am living a full and well-rounded life. So I always make too many goals. And I get overwhelmed. And when I don't accomplish them, sometimes I get sad, and think that if I was better, more disciplined, less lazy, then I could do them all. So maybe I should resolve something else this year.

To do the best I can with who I am and what I've got. And to be darn happy about it.

So come next December, if I haven't lost a single pound and there is no hand-made, zig zag afghan on my couch, I resolve to not feel bad about it. Because I'm sure that if I don't do those things, I will have instead taken care of my daughter, tried my best to be a good wife, and did other things that made me happy because I wanted to, and not because I said I was gonna do it on this blog.

Maybe I should resolve not to be a hypocrite by making resolutions that I openly admit I may not bother to keep. I'm so plagued by these inner struggles. I'm sorry I'm crazy. I now resolve to go to sleep.

The Year of the Rabbit

2012-01-02T01:38:00.001-07:00

Last January when the year was new, a woman came into my work and hung a poster for the Chinese New Year celebration. On that poster was a rabbit, as 2011 was to be the year of the rabbit in the Chinese zodiac. Trying to make conversation I told her that I had been born in the year of the rabbit.

She looked at me with wise eyes and smiled with much more excitement than I expected. “Oh!” she replied. “Then this is your year.”

This is your year.

That sentence has been ringing through my mind each month of this epic 2011. Shortly after my foreshadowing encounter with that mystic Chinese prophetess, Rob and I learned that we were going to have a baby.

In February we told our families our happy news. I spent most of that month lying on the couch reading Harry Potter, and going to bed exhausted at 8:00 p.m. every night. I went to the doctor for the first time, heard my sweet baby’s heartbeat, and had my first ultrasound. I watched that baby kick its tiny feet and wiggle around and I felt my own heart begin a great expansion inside my chest.

In April we saw our baby on the screen again. We learned that we were having a baby girl, and even more importantly that she looked perfectly healthy. I couldn’t believe my luck.

Through spring and summer as my belly grew I worked on our baby girl’s nursery and shopped for tiny dresses and onesies. I spent many an evening bent over my sewing machine or on the couch wielding my crochet hooks as I made little things for our little lady.

I dreamed about her, felt her move in my belly, and wondered what she would look like, and who she would become. I anticipated both labor and motherhood with fear and excitement, each equally strong as they pressed on my vulnerable heart.

September, the month of Baby G’s arrival, finally came and we waited for her to make her appearance. Each day was scrutinized for signs that our daughter was coming. Each morning I woke up and went to work, and that baby girl just stayed right where she was. Finally on the second-to-last day of the month, Magnolia was born. My baby girl, born in the year of the rabbit, just like her mother (and father, incidentally) before her.

The rest of this fateful year has been spent loving that little girl as much as we possibly can and reflecting on how incredibly blessed we are.

Pregnancy and parenthood aside (if they can ever really be cast aside), this year has been wonderful for many reasons. I was able to work at a job I loved on a challenging and worthwhile project, right up until I had Magnolia. Rob pursued a brand new major at the start of this year and took off with guns a blazing. He balanced his courses with internships and a new job and the future looks bright before him in that regard. He’ll be finished with his bachelor’s degree in just one more year, and after that, who knows where the winds of fortune will take us. The happy tone and lucky spirit of this year leads me to believe that it will be somewhere great.

I read on a placemat at our favorite Chinese restaurant in town that the rabbit is the luckiest of all zodiac signs. I don’t really take much stock in horoscopes or any of that stuff, but that woman was absolutely right. This lucky year of the rabbit was mine.

I don’t mean to say that in the sense that it belonged to me and no one else. But this year was mine because it was given to me. A gift. A blessing. 2011 was full of perfect days, of peace and of happiness, and also of struggle and growth like I’ve never experienced. It transformed me; it opened up my life and made everything new.

Last January I made the following resolution:

“Enjoy 2011. I feel like in a lot of ways 2010 slipped away from me, that I was just in survival mode, trying to get through things. I don't like living that way. Even though this coming year has more uncertainty than any other year I've yet lived, I'm going to try my hardest to appreciate each day, week, and month of it. I want a year that I've filled with memories, hard work, progress, and love, and not one that speeds by because I'm waiting for something better to come along.”

Though more than a couple of my other resolutions fell by the wayside, I am proud to say that I accomplished this one, the most important one I made this year. I think more than anything, my daughter taught me how to enjoy my life in the present. I didn’t want to wish the precious experience of being pregnant away, so instead I chose to enjoy it. As soon as she was born I was immediately hit with the knowledge that she will grow so much faster than I would like her to, and since I can’t keep time from flying by, I’ve tried so hard to enjoy each day, instead of dwelling on trials or negative things and wishing our lives away. I did more than just enjoy 2011. I loved it with all of my heart.

In the very last minute of 2011, I couldn’t help but feel sad to say goodbye. But as the clock turned and the ball dropped, my sadness turned to hope as my little family (that silly baby still awake at that unreasonable hour) greeted its first new year together. 2011, my year, the year of the rabbit, was one that will stand out in my book of life. But I am far too optimistic, and not quite superstitious enough, to believe that I won’t have another such year until the year of the rabbit comes again in 12 years. Taking the lesson that I learned from this sweet and sacred year, I’ve decided to make my own luck. I’ve decided that every year henceforth will be mine. Every year a gift. Every year a blessing.

Three Months Old

2011-12-29T22:53:00.003-07:00

Today my little Magnolia turned three months old! My little Littles is the sweetest thing and she's made our little family about a bajillion times better.

These days, Nolie is really into standing, sitting up, flying (you know, superman style, held by someone of course), drooling (we go through several bibs a day), and talking. She likes holding on to things, including Mommy's hair, which is not my favorite thing. Today when I fed her she reached up and grabbed my lip and wouldn't let go. It kind of hurt a lot.

She still goes to bed late every night, but she's been sleeping through the night for a whole month now, with the exception of a day or two here and there. She usually goes to sleep around midnight or later and then wakes up around 7:30. Then she'll eat and go back to sleep for a few more hours. She's so sweet when she wakes up. She's always so happy to see me and gives me lots of sleepy smiles.

She likes her little toys; she can grab things and of course most things go right into her mouth. Her favorite chew toys are her own hands, or mama's hands.

She was yelling at me in this picture; it's the cutest thing. Happy three months to our sweet baby girl; we love you so muches!

A December to Remember

2011-12-28T21:49:00.008-07:00

What a wonderful (and busy) Christmas time we've had! We were quite spoiled by both families this year (including Magnolia) and we've loved being with family. Here are some highlights of this year's festivities:

Nolie and me on my 24th birthday, December 21. Having a birthday four days before Christmas was super fun as a kid, but it's gotten kind of lame as an adult as it just gets swept up in all the holiday excitement. Nevertheless, it was a great day this year with family and I was able to reflect on how good 23 was to me. Here's hoping 24 is just as wonderful!

This picture is just for fun, showcasing Magnolia's adorable baby mohawk. This is how my mom always did my hair when I was a baby and I love doing Nolie's like this now that her hair is a little longer. I can't decide what color it's going to be; sometimes it looks like it's coming in super blond and others I think she might be a brown-haired little lady, taking after her Daddy. We'll see....

Again, Miss Nolie with Santy. My kind father-in-law took all of his grand kids to see the man of the hour. We went to Trolley Square, where Santa is free for all girls and boys and you can take as many pictures as you want.

A lovely sleigh ride, sans any actual bob-tailed horses or snow, but fun nevertheless.

Christmas Eve!!! We got together at Grandpa Goates's annual Christmas Eve extravaganza. Following tradition, Magnolia opened her Christmas Eve jammies from her grandma and grandpa, and below she's showing them off:

A bunch of the grand kids and great grand kids in their Christmas pjs.

Rob with his oldest brother Rick, who's family was here for Christmas from Texas. They haven't come for Christmas since Rob was on his mission, and they have four cute kiddos, so it was really fun to have the whole Goates family together.

Rob and I have a Christmas Eve tradition of making strawberry daiquiris that dates back to our honeymoon. We love doing it and I hope it's something that our kids will look forward to every year.

Our Christmas stockings! I'm going to have to make some before our next child arrives but I'm having a hard time committing to what I want to make, so until then these Hobby Lobby cheapies that I embroidered with our initials will have to do.

Miss Magnolia bright and early Christmas morning. You can see that she wouldn't even interrupt her beauty sleep to see what Santa brought.

The Goates home was full of babies this Christmas! Here is Magnolia sandwiched between Kyle who is about two months older, and little Molly who is five weeks younger. Baby Dylan is set to join the group any day now...

This picture is hilarious because it makes the size differences way more noticeable. It's a baby pyramid.

Here is Nolie at her Papa and Gee Gee's house in her other Christmas jammies, showing off what Santa brought her: the Bumbo and Sophie the Giraffe.

As you can see, she already loves her.

Playing with her new fancy play mat. She loves this thing. I don't even think she knows what to begin with, there's so much fun stuff going on here. (Pardon her drool. It's like a hurricane of drool for us these days.)

Magnolia was able to meet her uncle Jared via Skype! This was a really special Christmas moment for us. My brother loves babies and he has been really sad to miss out on Nolie's arrival. She will be almost a year old when he gets home and he can't wait to see her in person, but it was so fun for him to see her on Skype and it was great to talk to him about his adventures as a missionary in the Bible Belt.

I got kind of pictured out in those few days, so I haven't taken any pictures since Christmas really but we've had an enjoyable couple of days relaxing after the hustle and bustle of the holiday. We'll probably stick around for New Year's and then it'll be back to Logan and back to school for Rob. We've had a wonderful time with family, and can't believe how blessed we are.

Happy Christmas to all of you out there; I hope you had a wonderful day and were filled with Christmas cheer!

Christmas wishes do come true...

2011-12-22T23:21:00.002-07:00

Three Years

2011-12-18T21:27:00.001-07:00

On 12/19, Rob and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. It was a quiet day but we had a great time together. We went to lunch and then our good friends Natalie and Adam watched Magnolia (thanks guys!) so we could go see Sherlock Holmes 2, which Rob has been anxiously awaiting for months. (Seriously, he's been dying to see it. When we went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 there was a preview for Sherlock and Rob screamed out with joy. Really loudly. In a packed theater. And he was the only one who had that particular reaction. So everybody heard him.)

Anyway, the movie was great but the company was even better. Happy anniversary Rob; I love you so much and each year just keeps getting better and better!

Oh For Shame, Santa Claus

2011-12-16T00:28:00.003-07:00

So I hadn't really gotten out of the house all week and it was starting to get me down. Rob noticed this (wasn't hard to notice) and suggested we drive down to Ogden today and do some Christmas shopping, get lunch, and have a nice day together. I was so excited. It may seem silly for us to drive all the way to Ogden, but they have Target down that way, and Target is a magical place where all of Vienna's dreams come true.

That's just what we did. We drove down, went to Target, had lunch, and were having a grand old time. We decided to go to Newgate Mall to do a bit more shopping. As we walked in, we saw the area designated for the Santa, where boys and girls of all ages could line up and get their pictures taken as they tell the jolly old fellow the Christmas wishes of their sweet little hearts. Santa wasn't there at the time, but I saw his empty red-and-white striped wingback chair and my heart was filled with its own little Christmas wish: to take my baby girl's picture with Santa Claus on this, her first Christmas. There was a sign that said when Santa would be back, and we agreed that if we were still shopping we'd come back and check it out.

The time came so we got in the small line that had already formed and what to our wondering eyes should appear but Santa Claus himself. He cried out "HO HO HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS!" and waved to all of the children in line. When I saw him I was so excited; he was such a cute Santa; the appropriate age, real white beard, the whole shebang. Not one of those fake-looking creeps who are far too common at malls. We continued to wait for a bit while Santa visited with the kids in front of us. Finally when there was only one family left in front of us, one of Santa's elves asked us if we were planning on buying pictures.

We told her no, as the cheapest picture package was $22. The elf glanced down at my wrist at my camera hanging there by its strap and she said "Just so you know, no personal cameras are allowed."

WHAT?! I told her that was okay because I'm not the type to get confrontational or make a scene. Then I looked at Rob and said, "Should we go?" and he nodded and we stepped awkardly over the gate to the "North Pole." The North Pole of greed and commercialism, that is.

Seriously? Seriously. I was in shock. We got in the car to go home and I started to cry. I know that was probably an overreaction and I'm sure you guys are all judging me right now, but I was really, really disappointed.

All I wanted was a cute picture of my baby with Santa for her first Christmas. I just wanted that photo so I could show it to Nolie and say, "This is the first time you met Santa Claus. Look how sweet and little you were." Next year she'll probably be afraid of him and she'll be sobbing hysterically or something, but this year would have been perfect. She was being so smiley and cute, she's not afraid of strangers yet, and she was even wearing the Christmas hat I made her. And come on. Red-and-white striped wingback chair. REAL BEARD.

I know I overreacted. I know it's probably silly to want to take a baby as little as mine is to see Santa. She won't remember. But it was a little thing that was important to me. And I know it's a business and they need to make money, but I'm sorry, I think it's criminal and ridiculous to charge people $22 for a 5x7 photo with a tacky candy cane border, and to prohibit them from using their own cameras. And if this is gonna be the rule, then they should advertise that fact BEFORE you wait 20 minutes in line. They probably omit this detail deliberately because they think that when you finally get to the front and find out you can't take your own pictures, you'll just pay them their dumb money because you won't want to have waited in line for nothing, and of course you'd look so cheap and stupid if you actually got out of line at that point. Well, cheap and stupid we may be, but not stupid enough to pay them an outrageous sum for their crappy pictures. And the thing that upsets me most is that I think that's totally against the spirit of Christmas and proof of the immortal words of Charlie Brown that Christmas is too commercial.

I'm still really sad about it. Our ward doesn't have enough kids to warrent a Santa at the Christmas party, St. Nick does not make an appearance at any of our family gatherings, and heaven knows I won't let another mall make a fool out of me, so I don't think Nolie will get to meet Santa this year, and my Christmas wish will be unfulfilled.

But after all is said and done, I did get to take this picture, of my sweet baby girl at her first Christmas time, in a magical place, with a jolly fellow with a real beard who loves her more than all of the Santas in all the malls in all the world. And I got all of this for free.

These are a few of my favorite things...

2011-12-10T14:56:00.006-07:00

...for babies. So everyone knows that there a bajillion baby products and things out there and when you're expecting your first baby there's a lot of confusion about what you really need, what you don't, what to register for, blah blah blah. Since I have a few friends out there who are expecting and may be getting baby stuff for Christmas (I'm jealous; I would have loved to be pregnant over Christmas since you have to get baby stuff eventually anyway so might as well get it for Christmas!), here are five of my favorite baby things.

Of course these are all just my opinions and you are free to take them or leave them, but after using this stuff for the last couple months I've come to really love and rely on my favorite baby items. Also, none of these brands are paying me to say any of this. Although if they'd like to give me free stuff I would not turn them away.

Item 1: Swaddle Blankets

I have the Aden + Anais bamboo swaddles and I use them ALL THE TIME. They're kind of spendy but I'm glad I got them. They are a really good size for swaddling; much bigger than some other ones that I have. And they're great for just laying over the top of the baby in the car seat or snuggling with in general, and they are so soft. Nolie likes to grab onto them and it's the cutest thing. In general I use a TON of blankets, swaddle or other. We generally keep several in every room, and take a few with us everywhere we go. So blankets (and lots of them) are a must.

Item 2: Changing table
I know this is a controversial item. Many people advocate against changing tables because they think they take up space and are useless pieces of furniture one your baby is potty-trained. I wanted to heed this advice at first, but after a series of events I ended up getting one and I am definitely pro-changing table. I always change her on it, and it's not inconvenient at all. All of the baby essentials and diapers are in baskets on the shelves and I think it's much easier (for me) to keep organized than if everything were in drawers, and much more easily accessible. Plus it will be at least two years (maybe even three, eek) before she is potty trained and by then we *might* just be getting ready for Baby G #2 anyway, so I think this changing table will get a lot of use.

Item 3: The Boppy

I think this is a pretty universally-loved baby item. I've hardly heard of anyone say they never really used their Boppy. We certainly use ours every day. In addition to helping with nursing, it's great for tummy time, and for just having the baby chill in it, as you see Nolie doing above. And hello, they're just so darn cute, those Boppy covers. Turtles, birdies, and bunny rabbits.

Item 4: Baby Bath Tub

I never planned on getting one of these because I thought it would be a big space hog. Enter Ikea. I saw this one there and it was only $6. I'd seen other ones for something like $30-$40. So I thought for that cheap I could at least try it out. I'm glad we got it. I wouldn't have felt comfortable bathing her in our tub when she was tiny and our sinks are too small. It is indeed a space hog, but we just put it in our bathtub when we're not using it. And even if I end up throwing it away after she outgrows it, it was super cheap. I bought that little turtle-shaped sponge for cushioning at Babies-R-Us for like $6 or something, and it's the perfect little bath-time combo.

Item 5: Moby Wrap
This is probably my very favorite baby item (other than like clothes and stuff). A lot of people think these are hard to use and complicated and at first they are, but I just kept practicing putting it on by myself and after getting the hang of it I LOVE this thing. I use it almost everywhere we go, especially if Rob is not with me. I agree it's a bit of a hassle to use the wrap when you go out, but I also HATE dealing with and carrying the car seat, so to me when weighing the options I prefer the Moby. If I know I'm going to use it I will put it on before I leave the house (I look like a ninja when I do this but whatever) and then I can just slip her into it when we get where we're going. It's not uncomfortable at all and my shoulders and back never hurt or get tired because of the way the weight is distributed. She likes being in it most of the time too, and it's nice and snuggly.

As a final note, I will say that of course all of these are my opinions, and you can definitely be just fine without any or probably all of these things. I think the most important thing I wish I would have remembered more often when I was pregnant is that every single person and baby is different, and just because Babies-R-Us says you need a huge list of stuff doesn't mean you do, and at the same time you shouldn't listen to people who tell you you don't need anything either, because the right baby gear for your lifestyle makes taking care of a baby easier and more fun. Basically everyone has their opinion, and you shouldn't let those opinions overwhelm you. Lots of people told me not to get a changing table, and lots of people told me lots of other things about pregnancy and childbirth that are not true for me or were irrelevant (won't go into detail, don't want to start a mommy brawl or anything. Those are all-too common on the internet it seems.). Some reviews and advice are helpful, others are not, and you just have to ultimately decide what you want based on what you like and what you think you will use or need. Every situation is so different.

After saying all of that, you're probably thinking, "What the heck Vienna, if you're telling me not to listen to people's opinions, then why did you write this super long post of stuff you like?" The reason I did it is because I DO think it is helpful to consider the advice of people who have a similar lifestyle, situation, or income as you do. I did this when I was deciding what I needed, and it helped a lot. So if you're in similar shoes to me, you might like some of these things that I do. Happy baby shopping!

Magnolia's Blessing Day

2011-12-09T01:07:00.003-07:00

Last Sunday we blessed our sweet Magnolia. It was a wonderful snowy day; Rob gave her a beautiful blessing and I was filled with such gratitude to be her mommy. When I was younger I used to always try to picture my future babies, wondering what they'd be like and honestly my little daughter is so much more perfect than I could ever have imagined. What a precious thing it was to hear her daddy give her such a sweet blessing. We just love her so much and can't believe how blessed we are.

My lovely grandmother (who we named Nolie's middle name after) made this gorgeous dress by hand; it's all really delicate crochet. She started making it before we even found out we were having a girl (good thing she was one, right?)! She even had to start over after doing quite a bit of work on it because she wanted it to be just perfect. I love this dress and Magnolia looked so beautiful in it. I bought the little shoes before she was born and they matched the dress perfectly. I was a little nervous because Nolie is growing so fast I thought she might not fit into everything, but it worked out splendidly.

This pink blanket is the one I was blessed in, and my mom was blessed in it too when she was a baby. Magnolia was not blessed in it; my grandma made a blanket that matched the dress that she was blessed in (I didn't get any pictures of her with it so I hope someone else did!) but we wanted to take some pictures of her with this one.

We pulled up her dress so you could see her little shoesies.

By this point the poor girl had had it with that long day, and frankly so had I! I was a little bummed because I didn't get a chance to get more pictures of her in her dress with the blanket she was blessed in, but she was so tired and hungry and just wanted to get into her nice comfy jammies after a long day.

We had everyone over after to our little home for soup and salad and I had been up late the night before getting everything ready, so I was pretty exhausted. I think everything turned out really great though and we were happy to have everyone. Thanks to all our great friends and family for making the drive up to be with us on Nolie's special day!

Dear Santa...

2011-12-06T20:13:00.007-07:00

It's time for my annual "What I want for Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary" post. I didn't really want to do one of these this year because I had a really hard time thinking of things I want. I feel like I'm too tired to care these days, ha ha. Anyway, my mom asked me to think of things, and I know a certain mister who probably needs some ideas, so here it goes:
This is a lovery boyfriend cardi from Target. My friend Karissa got me one in black for Christmas last year and I wear that thing all the time. So I'd like this one; and it also comes in red which I wouldn't mind having as well. Here's the link to this teal one:

http://www.target.com/p/Mossimo-Women-s-Ultrasoft-Boyfriend-Cardigan-Sweater-Assorted-Colors/-/A-13372756#?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Froogle_df&LNM=%7C13372756&CPNG=women&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=13372756

Speaking of Target, I'd also really enjoy getting a gift card there. I really love everything about that place so I could easily find plenty of things I need and want within its gleaming aisles of awesomeness.
Also, what I really NEED for Christmas is clothes. Before I was pregnant the state of my wardrobe was rather poor, but I didn't want to buy anything because I was planning on having a baby so I decided it would be dumb to get a bunch of new clothes and then not be able to fit into them. So flash forward to now, when I have no clothes. I packed away almost all of my maternity clothes, and most of my clothes from before were either in really crappy condition (because you know, I was hoarding stuff I'd worn in high school) or they don't fit super great on account of the fact that your body transforms like crazy when you have a baby. So I got rid of a ton of things in one huge, fell swoop. And now, I have no clothes, specifically shirts. Aaaand my feet grew about half a size, so I need some new shoes too. But it's always tricky to have people get clothes for you, so in this case I definitely think gift cards are a swell option. So, I would love to get some new things at Target, and also at the following lovely place:

Sorry for this enormous image. Weird. Anyway, I have always been very public about my love for H&M, and now that it's finally here in the Beehive State I would love to go shopping. I've only been once so far, but it was super crowded and I had Nolie with me in the Moby Wrap so I couldn't really try anything on, and of course the only things I ended up buying were onesies for her...because it's way more enjoyable to buy clothes for your baby than for yourself, am I right? So yeah, I'd like a gift card for H&M so I can have Rob watch the babe while I go find something cute for myself.

I also wouldn't turn down a gift card to Cafe Rio, which is widely known as Vienna's most favorite place to eat in all the world. Normally I'd never ask for a gift card to a restaurant, but here's the deal. Staying home with my adorable baby is a wonderful blessing, and I really love it. But some days I just have to get out of the house. Do I have anywhere to go? Most of the time, not really. Do I have any money to idly roam around, window shopping or getting a nice sweet treat or lunch? Most definitely not. So if I had said gift card to Cafe Rio, I would have a lovely excuse to take Miss Magnolia on a little drive (very little drive, seeing as Cafe Rio is like two minutes from my house) to get us some lunch on a day when I am bored and need a little ray of sunshine in my day.

Okay, I've been wanting this ever since I was working on Nolie's nursery. Remember her little blue owl print in the wall of frames? Well this is the same artist and I love all of her work. I really want an 8x10 print of either the above painting, or the one below to hang in my bedroom or another part of my house. Heck, I would even be thrilled to have both, and hang one in my bedroom AND the other in another part of my house. Below you will find the link to her etsy shop.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/unitedthread?ref=seller_info

And I'd also like some pretty new nail polishes. I love this grey one above. It's OPI, called "A French Quarter for Your Thoughts." Oh those OPI peeps. So clever. Where can I get that job, coming up with names for nail polishes? I'm pretty sure I'd be way good at it.

I love this one too. It's by NYX and the color is called "Algae." Hmmm. Me thinks their color-naming person over there is a little less creative...

How rad is this print, right? I know I will never get this, because there aren't really any rich people who typically buy me gifts, but I thought I'd post it just the same because it's just so cool. I really love Harry Potter, as I'm sure most of you know, and I'd love to have something like this. It's cool and Harry Potter-y, but not cheesy or immature. It's subtle, and I really love the colors and overall design.

http://www.hadilaksono.bigcartel.com/product/travel-with-the-hogwarts-express

So there you have it, my wish list for the year. I'd also like a couple of 12x12 scrapbook albums too, but I'm tired and I don't want to google any images and try to find ones I like. I'm not huge into scrap booking, but I did our wedding album a couple years ago and I'd like to start one for Magnolia. I'm not into all of the scrap booking accessories and stuff, I just like putting the photos on pretty paper in a nice album. And that's all I could really think of this year. Hope it helps those (two) of you who are in search of things to get me for my birthday/Christmas/anniversary.

Fancy Photos

2011-12-04T01:40:00.010-07:00

When Magnolia was just three weeks old, my lovely and talented friend Ashley took her newborn photos. I was going to wait to post them on my blog because these pictures may or may not be involved in Christmas presents for certain grandparents, but I decided I didn't want to wait anymore because I am too excited to share them.

Ashley did a beautiful job and I love these photos. I already can't believe how much Nolie has grown and changed since these were taken, and I'm so happy with how they turned out. Here are just a few (okay, maybe more than a few) of my favorites.

Two Months!

2011-11-29T23:01:00.005-07:00

On the 29th our little Magnolia turned two months old! I can't believe she's so big; she's just growing far too fast for my liking. Though I do love to watch her grow and change every day and to see all the new things she's learning.

Today was her two-month checkup and she is just perfect. She weighed in at 12 lbs and was 24 inches long; 80% for weight and 95% for height, so she's just growing like a weed! She's already been in 3 month clothes for awhile, and even some of those are too short. I don't think I have enough 6 month clothes on hand, so I guess I'll have to do some shopping after Christmas, which is fine by me, as I'm fairly addicted to buying baby clothes.

She had to get her shots and it was horrid. I was a little nervous about them but I figured she'd be okay because she seldom cries and usually once I pick her up she stops. Oh my gosh. Those shots were horrendous. She cried and cried and got all red in the face and it was so hard to watch because it's probably the most she's ever cried, and right before she got them she was all smiley and cute. I even cried a little myself and I didn't think I would. I was so upset I left her blankie in the room so the nurse had to bring it out to me and I'm sure she thought I was a big old idiot. So hopefully I do better next time we have shots.

Magnolia decided to celebrate her little birthday by sleeping through the night last night, which was, in a word, awesome. She went to bed around 10:00, which is early for her, and slept til 7:30. I hope this continues; her doctor said he thought she probably would keep sleeping like that regularly, which would be fab. I moved her out of her cradle in our bedroom to her crib in the nursery like a week ago and I think that has helped. I was actually pretty sad about it; I loved having her sleep in our room because then I knew I'd always wake up and be able to get her right away. But she is a super noisy sleeper and so Rob wasn't sleeping well and I think her crib is more comfy. Plus I had to make the switch sometime, or she'd be in our room 'til she was 18 or something.

Nolie has got to be one of the sweetest and easiest babies ever. She hardly ever cries. She loves to coo and jabber away and she loves to look around at everything. She will smile at everyone and is such a lovey. She loves to eat her hands and is very fond of blowing bubbles and slobbering these days. We think she just keeps getting cuter every day and we love our little girl. Happy little birthday Nolie!

So that's our little update, now Miss Nolie is going to help me decorate our Christmas tree.

P.S. Sorry for my excessive blogging lately. Since she's gone to bed earlier these past few nights, I haven't known what to do with myself, hence three posts in three days. Maybe I should clean my house instead. Probably won't.

Wall of Frames

2011-11-28T22:17:00.005-07:00

I dunno if you remember this, but when I posted about Magnolia's nursery right before she was born I showed pictures of this collage over her crib:

Since that post was so long, I didn't give any details about what any of this stuff is, but I wanted to go back and do so because this was one of my first projects I finished for the nursery and it's one of my favorites. So you may not really care at all, but just in case you do, here it goes (sorry for the bad photography).

1. This frame is a D.I. find that I painted. The print inside is the logo for Magnolia Bakery in Greenwich Village in NYC. It's actually cut from a paper bag we got when we went to buy cupcakes there last November. So essentially, it was free. I planned on saving the bag for this purpose because I knew when we had a baby, if it was a girl we were going to name her Magnolia. If we didn't have a girl, I was going to hang it in my kitchen :)

2. This little oval frame also came from the D.I.; it used to be gold. In it is a scrap of fabric from Nolie's crib bedding that I made. I love this because again it was cheap to make, and it also is a great way to showcase one of my favorite fabrics from the bedding, and it's a small detail that sort of ties things together.

3. This lovely little photo of some magnolia blossoms is one I purchased from etsy. The frame is yet another D.I. makeover.

4. This is a calendar page from a mini Vincent Van Gogh calendar. I just cut it out with a paper cutter and framed it (from here on out, let's just assume my frames were D.I. finds that I painted, because they probably all are and it will save you from my boring repetition :) ).

5 & 6. I picked up these little canvas prints at Shopko of all places for $6 a piece on clearance. I was pregnant at the time but didn't know we were having a girl, so I had some serious buyers guilt (which I justified by telling myself I'd hang them up somewhere else in my house if I had a boy). I'm so glad I bought them though because I really love them. One is a yellow bird and the other is a magnolia of course.

7. I searched high and low for cute monograms and I was pleasantly surprised by this one. I couldn't find very many cute Ms; they were all really boxy and masculine looking or the wrong color. I stumbled across this one on Restoration Hardware's Baby and Child website (I don't shop there normally, way too spendy for me) on clearance for $.99! The shipping was $5, which I thought was ridiculous, but still all together it was a huge discount from the original, and when it came I was SO happy because it was perfect.

8 & 9. These little oval beauties are mirrors. My mom gave me the green one; it was just in her basement in a box of things she wasn't using. It was gold and I painted it green. The silver one was from the D.I. and it was only $.50. All it needed was a good cleaning and it was good to go.

10. I found a baby duvet cover in the kids' section at Ikea on clearance for $5. It had these darling little elephants all over it and I love elephants so I couldn't pass it up for that price. I got some batting and tied it into a little quilt for Nolie. It also came with a little pillow case, which I thought was weird and kind of dumb because babies can't use pillows (although maybe those kooky Swedes let their babies use pillows?) but then I decided to cut out one of the cute elephants and put him in this little frame.

11. This might be my favorite piece on this wall. It is a print of a watercolor by one of my favorite artists on etsy. I love all of her work (more of which you shall soon be seeing in my upcoming "stuff I want for Christmas" post) and I fell in love with this little owl and had to have it for the nursery. It's a really gorgeous print and such a unique piece.

12. Finally we have a very special print that I plan to hang in all of my future babies' rooms. Most of these things will go with Nolie to her "big girl room" someday, but this one is specifically for little babies. It's a Vincent Van Gogh print that I love called "First Steps, After Millet." It's a mother holding her little baby's hands as it takes its first steps across the garden to the father, who is holding his arms open towards the baby. It's in the Met in New York and so gorgeous; when we were there last fall I bought this print for our future nursery.

So there you have it. I think it cost me around $40 or so to make this wall, which is pretty darn good considering there are 12 pieces. All of the trips to the D.I. and all of the painting were a lot of work, but it was worth it to me to save the money and have things exactly how I wanted.

I was a little scared to start hanging all of this stuff once it was finished, and it may horrify you to know that I just started hammering away at my walls without really measuring or marking before hand. It worked out how I wanted though and I'm really happy with how it turned out. Now I want to do another wall like this in my living room, and maybe my bedroom.

Just don't tell my landlord about all of the nail holes... (I use those stick on strips too, but nails are just way cheaper...sorry.)

I'm Thankful for Thanksgiving

2011-11-28T18:51:00.006-07:00

This Thanksgiving we had a lot to be thankful for. We were even lucky enough to have TWO delicious dinners, one with the extended Goates bunch and one at my grandparents' home with my family. We're really fortunate that our families live close together so we're able to see them both on holidays, but I'll be honest, this always causes a lot of stress for me. In some ways I think it would be easier if they lived far apart so we would have to just switch off. Anyway, my point with this is that we were so busy rushing around and catching up with everyone that I didn't really take very many pictures, and I'm really sad about it because Nolie looked SO cute in her little Thanksgiving dress. But here are a few that I did manage to snap:

Nolie and Daddy having a nice turkey nap.

I made my first apple pie! My grandma was ashamed that I used Pillsbury crusts, but whatever, it was way faster.

"M" is for Magnolia. I felt like Snow White when she makes that pie for Grumpy. Only no birds scratched the slits in my pie. That would be absolutely disgusting.

Here's Baby Magnolia in her Alice in Wonderland jammies with my grandma.

Also over the weekend Nolie got to meet her new cousin Molly! They are just five weeks
apart and it was fun to see them together. Little Molly is tiny compared to Magnolia and she was a good sport to put up with Nolie jabbering away and flailing around while she was trying to sleep :)

And seriously those are the only pictures I took. We had a really great weekend with family, and I've really been reflecting on all of our many blessings. Since we had Nolie and I'm no longer working, things have been really tight financially for us. We're much poorer than we've ever been, and trust me, we were pretty poor before. I don't mean to complain or sound ungrateful, it's just been kind of a stressful and scary time for us. But this Thanksgiving even though we're in this situation, we still have so much to be grateful for. This year has brought so much to us.

I had a very healthy pregnancy, and we have a healthy and beautiful baby girl. She is such a good, sweet baby and we wouldn't trade her for anything. Rob is doing so well in school and will be finished in just one more year. We have wonderful families who love us and have always been so good to us. We've been able to make ends meet somehow even when we thought there was no way we'd be able to. There are so many people in this world who have so much less than we do. I think of them and I realize how very blessed I am, and that I've never really had to do without the things that really matter.

We had TWO huge Thanksgiving dinners for crying out loud.

Nolie and Owlie

2011-11-22T20:03:00.004-07:00

This is Nolie and her friend, Mr. Owl. She loves him. I've been introducing a few toys when we play and he is by far her favorite. He makes a nice jingling sound when you shake him or bump him, and lately I've suspected that she figured out that if she kicks him, he will make noise. Today this was confirmed, because she was kicking him like crazy and having a grand old time. It was SO adorable and we loved watching her learn something new.

There she sat for quite a long time, kicking her little owlie and gurgling happily all the while...

Then for some reason she started to get upset. WAY upset, seeing as she hardly ever cries, and she was all of the sudden crying. Maybe Mr. Owl was being mean? ...

...I think she just wanted to be snuggled by her mama.

Would you eat them with a goat?

2011-11-12T17:38:00.000-07:00

So...Proud

2011-11-10T00:44:00.004-07:00

I have a funny story for you.

One day, when my charming husband was a young man in the eighth grade, he was sitting at the lunch table with his friends. A group of silly comrades, they decided to challenge each other to a friendly little competition. I imagine the conversation went something like this:

"Hey dudes, let's see who can give himself the best hickey on their arm."

"Yeah man, that would be totally awesome, let's do it!"

...followed by a chorus of "Yeah!"s.

So, to put it as delicately as possible, the sucking of arms began. Not to be outdone by his young associates, Rob sucked at his arm most vigorously. A sizable and vivid hickey appeared on his impressive eighth-grade bicep, and Rob was proclaimed to be the winner of this manly contest.

Well, believe it or not, that hickey never went away. It's still there, bright as ever, on Rob's arm, for all the world to see.

In recent years he's started telling people it's a birthmark, because he's a little embarrassed of this story. I've always thought it was pretty funny.

I have another little story.

One day (today) Miss Magnolia was very hungry. As little hungry babies often do, she began to try to eat her arm, thinking that it might be a delicious alternative to actual food. Luckily I intervened and fed her before she got too far on that path. Although I did think she looked ridiculously cute trying to eat her chubby little arm.

Imagine my astonishment when, after I fed her, I looked down at that chubby arm and found a little surprise....

Like father like daughter.

Magnolia's First Halloween

2011-11-01T15:35:00.016-06:00

We had an awesome Halloween, which consisted of way too many treats and me taking about a bajillion pictures of my little babe (don't worry, I'm not posting all of them). To start with, our little Nolie turned one month old on Saturday!

I dressed her up in her little Halloween outfit for the occasion. By the way, she's been smiling for real for the past little while and it is delightful.

When I was still pregnant I bought her these little skeleton jammies, both because they are super cute and also to serve as a back up plan in case I didn't finish making her Halloween costume. I ended up finishing her costume, but she still wore her jammies for part of Halloween day.

Awww. They match.

Are you ready to see Miss Magnolie's costume? Here it is.....

She was The Very Hungry Caterpillar!!! I saw something like this online and I thought it would be the perfect costume for a tiny new baby; not to fussy and comfy enough that she wouldn't mind being snuggled up in it. So I decided to try to make my own version, and it worked out great. She seemed to like it just fine, and we couldn't get over how cute she was in it.

We spent the evening with some great friends, eating pizza and treats and hanging out.

Erik, Violet, and Sammy. Doesn't Violet make the perfect little Pebbles with her red hair?

Our friends Josh and Ashley were there too, but I don't have a picture with them. We all had a grand old time, except I was lame and wouldn't let them watch a good scary movie because I'm a baby and won't watch them. Sorry guys.

Here are these two cute girls just hanging out in their costumes. Violet is eating the case to my memory card. Because everyone knows those are delicious.

Matching skeleton jammies!

Happy Halloween from us to you! Now I've got to get back to eating leftover candy. We hardly had any trick or treaters, so there's plenty to be had.

There's a first time for everything...

2011-10-26T21:54:00.007-06:00

froggy went a courtin'

2011-10-23T22:45:00.006-06:00

These early days of parenthood are interesting ones. It's amazing how you can spend all day being too busy to shower, or eat, or even brush your teeth. But it's a different kind of business, one where you have nothing to show for your day at its end. It's amazing to think that it takes so much time to feed and change and hold a little baby, swaddling, unswaddling, finding lost socks, kissing tiny feet, and singing "froggy went a courtin'" over and over.

I've been a little blue, because I always feel gross and unproductive when I fail to get ready for the day or really do anything tangible. But then I realized that singing "froggy went a courtin'" over and over again is actually really important. Because it means I'm taking these days slowly and spending all my time loving my little baby, which is not only what she deserves, but it's exactly what I should be doing.

So you'll have to excuse me for another baby-centric post. But these days I'm living a baby-centric life, which is exactly the kind of life I should be living.

P.S. I looked up the lyrics to "froggy went a courtin'" because I could only remember a few of the verses from when my grandma used to sing it to me when I was little. Man, it's a really long song. And I totally don't remember the morbid and depressing ending. I don't think I'll be singing that part to Nolie. She can wait until she's older to be disturbed by it when she googles it so she can sing it to her own baby someday.

Miss Magnolia

2011-10-14T21:45:00.006-06:00

Hello! Just wanted to post a quick...hello...on the blog. Rob is in Orlando for a conference for school for a week, so Magnolia and I decided (well really I decided; she didn't have much say in the matter) to stay at my parents for the week so we wouldn't be all alone. We miss Daddy, but it's been fun to be with family, all of whom are obsessed with Baby Nolie, by the way. I barely ever get to hold her myself. Only when she's hungry or wakes up in the middle of the night.

The first two weeks of parenthood have been wonderful. Most days I am crazy tired and of course we have no sort of routine established whatsoever, but Nolie is such a sweet and good baby and Rob and I love having her in our home. It's really something how having a baby makes our little family seem so much more complete. Here are some tidbits about Baby Magnolia:

She makes the cutest and funniest little noises. She snorts all the time so I've taken to calling her "Snortie Piglet." At first Rob and my mom thought it was weird but they soon realized how endearing it is and have jumped on the Snortie Piglet bandwagon.

BTW, we are calling her either Magnolia or Nolie, which you probably noticed. Never Maggie please :) we don't like it. She has a host of other nicknames that include Snortie Piglet, including Magnolie, M'nolie (like "m'lady," very fancy and British) Nolie Bird, Noleroo, and more variations.

She's a pretty good sleeper most nights. We've had a couple of epic bad nights, but usually she just gets up every three or four hours to eat and goes back to sleep. She likes to stay up late though. This may be our own fault, as we're kind of night owls and her doctor said she probably just likes to stay up and hang out with us.

Rob is really great with her. I confess I was a tad nervous before she was born because he's never been around babies, but he's a pro diaper changer and he loves just staring at her and playing with her little hands and feet.

She likes when I read her stories.

She also likes staring at this big Monet painting that we have above our couch. At least I tell myself that she likes it, because it pleases me to know that she may be cultivating an appreciation for art in her young age.

She almost always sneezes twice in a row, which is exactly how Rob is.

She gets the hiccups ALL the time. She was like that when I was pregnant too. They are so cute, but I think they bug her sometimes.

She loves her hands and her beautiful long fingers, but I usually have to keep them confined because she's fond of scratching her face.

At her first doctor's appointment she was in the 63% for weight and head size, and then the 96% for length. Tall skinny girl, just like her daddy.

Most people think she looks like me.

She actually really likes tummy time most of the time.

She fits into newborn size clothes, but just some of them just barely since she's so long. But 0-3 months are way too big for her. So our wardrobe choices are a little limited for now. But we don't really go anywhere, so it doesn't really matter.

She doesn't cry very often, but I hate it when she does because I know that it means she's really sad.

She's a sweet and content little girl. She loves to be held and snuggled and we are more than happy to oblige. Except sometimes I'm not too thrilled about it in the middle of the night when she won't go back to sleep, but mostly I remember she won't be tiny forever and I should snuggle her all I can while she'll let me. We love our darling baby and we can't believe how blessed we are to have her.

The Fourth Class

2011-10-08T02:46:00.011-06:00

It's 2:45 a.m. and I couldn't sleep. So, I decided to get up and write. I also decided to log onto Vienna's blog (without her knowledge) and post what I wrote. I hope this makes sense in the morning...

I used to not be a big fan of change. Now, that’s not to say I didn’t like improvement or growth. I’ve just always been a firm believer in the idea that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” And there are many aspects in my life that don’t need fixing as they do fine for me.

This last week my wife and I had a beautiful, healthy baby. This event changed what class I pertained to in college life. Now, for those unaware of how college life is separated, there exist four classes. There are freshmen, single students, married students and students with kids. They don’t generally mix, except for class projects, and if they do, it’s because either party doesn’t know of the other’s situation; when they do, thus ensue two situations, the awkward “How’s that treatin’ ya? Do ya like it?” conversation or a comment like “Cool.” with a looming silence afterward. I’m now in the final class; from this point on I am that guy with a kid.

Anatole France, a French novelist, said “All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” Those who read that might think a small part of my “married student” life “died” when we had our baby and, in some essence, you’d be right. Life has become less spontaneous and more prearranged. Do I regret it? Not a chance.

A person with a narrow perspective longs for and wishes to continue living the experiences of a previous class, looking towards their peers there and imagining of how much more fun they must be having. But adulthood is a fickle beast that hides itself and waits to descend upon the most unsuspecting, whether it is in the first meeting with your future companion or the two lines on a pregnancy test, it waits.

As the degree of responsibility increases, so does the potential for joy. I have lived them all and can say, unequivocally, the most joy, and the most stress, is found in the fourth class.

Now, with a baby, there is change every day, and I’m happy with that.

I have my own blog. It's robgoates.blogspot.com. It's definitely not as pretty as Vienna's is, but it gets the job done, I suppose.

We're Home!

2011-10-03T21:00:00.007-06:00

We were unexpectedly discharged from the NICU yesterday afternoon. We're so happy to be home and love our sweet darling girl.

To be honest, I'm kind of a hormonal/emotional wreck, but I think it's just because I haven't slept much and now that I'm home and not running on adrenaline I have more time to process this whole experience, and it's so life changing and overwhelming. I promise I'm fine. I think after these first few days I'll get used to things and you know, start brushing my teeth and wearing real clothes again and we'll be good to go.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy and every time my baby wakes up and I see her sweet little face, I am the happiest I've ever been in the world. Rob adores her too and it's so wonderful to watch him take care of her and adjust to this new role. I love waking up with her in the night, changing her diapers, and holding her close to my heart as she falls asleep after I feed her. She is a perfect baby and I never thought I could love her so much (and I thought I loved her before she was born). It's just such a huge, defining moment in my life and I can't seem to stop crying about it.

My pregnancy was such a special, sacred time for me. I really loved everything about it, even the parts where I was miserable or uncomfortable or anxious or scared to be a mom. I lay down in my bed now and when I realize that I won't feel my little baby moving inside of me anymore, I feel like I've lost something really special to me. I wouldn't trade her for anything, and I know that this is all part of life and how it moves along, but it's been kind of a shock. I tried to explain it to Rob, and I told him it's like part of my heart left me and went with her when she was born, and I'll never have it back. I'm afraid she'll just grow up so fast and though I knew this would happen and I know it will be wonderful to watch her grow at every stage, it's hard for me to think about right now with all the other emotions and things I'm going through.

I probably shouldn't be sharing this on my blog, because now all of you probably think I'm crazy. I've always been a person who feels things really deeply, and I need to acknowledge and experience my emotions in order to deal with things. Please know that I'm doing well, and that we're all really healthy and happy. This is probably the biggest moment of my life thus far, and in order to transition into motherhood it was inevitable that I go through some sort of mini-breakdown. I'll be just fine. In fact, I am just fine. Much better than that.

In closing, here are some pictures of my perfect baby. I'm pretty bad at taking them because I'd rather be looking at her, and I don't like to use the flash because I don't want to blind her, so they're not the best, but hopefully we'll get better on that end soon.

Our first family picture, after we dressed her up to take her home. Our favorite NICU nurse took it for us; we loved him. He was so kind and understanding and we was so sweet with our little baby. He really made us feel special, which made a hard time much easier.

In the car seat to go home! Grandma got her cute outfit and I made her little booties.

Finally all cosy at home. She really likes being swaddled, but she also likes to bust out of them. Her nurse said she was a baby Houdini.

We tried a headband today. I think Mama's gonna have way too much fun dressing up this girl. Although right now we have nowhere to go, so it only stayed on for a few minutes.

Baby G is Here!

2011-10-01T22:12:00.005-06:00

Baby Magnolia * born September 29 * 8 lbs, 4 oz * 20 1/2 inches long

Well our little Baby G is finally here! Things are a little crazy, so I just jumped on the blog really quickly to give an update since not everyone knows what's going on.

We came to the hospital Wednesday evening to get induced. They started my pitocin and things were going pretty well. My doctor came in and broke my water and then the contractions started coming much stronger. I toughed it out for a couple hours and then asked for my epidural. I know there are lots of opinions out there on inductions and epidurals and blah blah blah, but for my part, getting induced was the right thing in our situation and it went beautifully. And epidurals are fantastic.

Anyway, they told us to expect at the soonest that she would be born around 7:00 the next morning. So imagine everyone's surprise when the nurse checked me at about 2:00 a.m. and said I was all of the sudden at 9+ centimeters. I couldn't believe it. I spent weeks sitting at a 1, and then another few weeks at a 2 (which is what I was at when they started the pitocin) and in just a few hours we were almost all the way.

Without getting into all the details, our beautiful baby girl was born at 4:54 in the morning. Labor is difficult. That's all I'll say about it on the internet.

My nurse was awesome and made me feel really comfortable, and when my doctor came in he was amazing and really helped me feel like I could do it, and took really good care of me after she was born. But hands down Rob was the best. He was right in the thick of things and really involved with the labor, always helping me, encouraging me, and being so positive, never getting squeamish or making me feel alone.

When the doctor held up our little girl, and placed her on my belly Rob and I were both sobbing. It's the most surreal experience, and you can't really adequately describe it. She was so perfect. They took her across the room to clean her up and I couldn't stop looking at her. It made for a nice distraction because the doctor was sewing me up and people were in and out cleaning things up.

Now comes the sad part. At the end of labor I got a slight fever. They started some medicine in my IV and I really didn't think anything of it, but it turns out that about half of all babies born when the mother develops a fever during labor have an infection. So a NICU nurse came up and cleaned her off, and after we had about an hour with her in the delivery room, she told us they'd be taking her away and doing some tests. I was so confused and didn't expect to hear anything about the NICU, what with an 8+ lb baby born a week past her due date. They wheeled me down and we had to drop her off. They just said they'd be doing labs and they'd let us know, and everyone acted cheery but I was so confused. I'd just been up all night in labor and delivering a baby, so I was pretty out of it but I didn't understand why I didn't get to take my baby upstairs with me, or why they weren't telling me more information.

To sum up everything, Nolie has an infection and is in the NICU to be monitored and administered anitbiotics. The tests they do take awhile to really tell if the baby does or doesn't have an infection, so they have a mandatory 48 hour period where they kept her in the NICU. We finally found out yesterday that she for sure does have one, and our pediatrician told us to expect maybe four days to a week before we can take her home. It could be sooner, but he didn't want to get our hopes up.

We were discharged this morning, but we're still at the hospital on hotel stay because we go down to the NICU every few hours to feed her. The first day of recovery was really difficult for me on every level. Again, that's all I'll say about it on the internet.

By Friday, the second day, I was feeling much better. Recovery was getting easier and even though we found out she'd be here longer, we were glad that she was getting the care she needed and that they caught her infection, because it could have been so much worse if they hadn't treated her. She's eating like a champ most times and she is just such a sweet and mellow baby. Plus she is such a gorgeous little thing.

Tonight, we're here in hotel stay, and we're actually feeling pretty good. We went out and got snacks, I can drink as much free coke as I want, and even though we can't take her home yet, we finally have our cute baby. Physically I'm recovering really well, and Nolie's tests have been coming back better and better, so we could go home as early as tomorrow. But even if we don't, being in the NICU has sort of been a blessing. I can't really explain it, but it just makes us even more excited to take her home and have her there with us, without all the wires IVs and people coming and going.

I will try to update as I can, and once we are home I will make up for the lack of photos by taking a bajillion. We don't have very many because things have been so crazy and the IV in her poor little head makes me sad. Anyway, we love our little girl and can't wait to take her home with us, hopefully very soon.

Nursery Reveal

2011-09-22T22:22:00.022-06:00

Introducing Baby Magnolia's nursery, as shown by my very limited photographic skills. I really loved working on the nursery and I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. It was great because most of it consisted of DIY projects, so even though it was a lot of work, it was fun and I was able to do everything on a budget. Plus I have a lot of one-of-a-kind and special things in here that I really treasure. Thanks to everyone who helped me and made or worked on things for Baby Nolie. I know she will love it as much as I do. Now she just needs to get here!

View from the doorway. This rug is from Urban Outfitters and it was one of my few splurges. Rugs aren't cheap but since we can't paint the walls I wanted to have as much color as possible, and I just fell so gosh darn in love with the thing.

View from the corner. I originally wanted fancier ruffle curtains (also from Urban Outfitters, those evil geniuses) but I settled on these ones from Target. I'm actually really glad because they were a great deal, I love the color, and they are a lot heavier so I think they'll block out light better and help the babe sleep. Also, during the day they make the whole room glow the prettiest blue. I've already blogged about the changing table saga, so we'll move on...

This beautiful rocking chair belonged to my grandma. Her mother gave it to her when my mom was born. My awesome uncle Brady worked so hard on it, sanding, repairing, and painting it for me. This is one of the most special things in this nursery and I adore it.

I threw the crib quilt over the back, and this little flower pillow I made. Worst sewing project of my life, but I had my heart set on the pretty thing. Thanks to my mother-in-law for helping me get started on it!

I crocheted this little bird mobile. It was an easy project but took forever to finish.

A close-up of the collage over the changing table. Those crazy wooden owls were a killer DI find, and they were super ugly and super cheap in their former life. I super love them. The frame collage thing that's stuck together actually came that way. One picture is from our wedding day, one is Baby G's first ultrasound, and the other three currently hold stock photos of random children that came with the frame. No worries, I'm going to replace them with pictures of her once she's born. I made the little M with yarn and a felt flower. The elephant print was another Urban Outfitters temptation I couldn't resist, and the print in the red frame is a scan of a page from Richard Scarry's ABCs. It says "G is for Goat" and has a little goat in a yellow dress playing hopscotch with a chipmunk. It's one of my favorite childhood books AND it's cute goat paraphernalia, which is super hard to come by.

A close-up of the wall of frames above the crib. Most are repainted DI cheapies that I used to frame some favorite prints and artwork that I acquired along the way. It would take forever to tell you what everything is, but just know that I love everything on this wall. So many pretty things to look at.

This is a dresser/shelf combo my parents gave us. It was white but my sister painted it that pretty yellow for me. I had the paint leftover from another project; it's called "Magnolia Yellow." I love this piece because it doesn't take up a ton of space in this little room, and it has roomy drawers for little clothes and blankets, and shelves for books and other treasures.

My mom made the cute monogram, and there are some of her many books.

More favorite books, and another sweet little owl rescued from the DI. This guy was also hideous and a screaming deal. He used to be brown with scary orange eyes.

Some magnolias in a vase, and even more books....

This frame was one I made for our wedding reception for all the tables, and I glued on the Scrabble tiles to spell her name. It's just waiting for a picture of Baby Nolie.

My sweet friend Dani made that darling giraffe, and these are more favorite books, including the French version of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and a Vincent Van Gogh book for baby. I actually wanted to incorporate more of the Madeline books into the nursery, because I love the yellow and black illustrations and hello, Madeline is so cute and French. Maybe for her big girl room someday.

This is a bad photo of one of the other most special things in here. My grandma had this poem hanging in her house when her kids were little. I told her I wanted it in my nursery and she made this for me. It's so gorgeous, makes me cry every time I read it, and I will hang it in all my babies' rooms. This is how it goes, since you can't really read it in the picture:

"Oh cleaning and scrubbing will wait til tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep."

Yep, weeping now. Let's move on.

My talented sister painted these darling Russian nesting dolls for her little niece. They turned out so sweet and the littlest one is so tiny!

Last but not least, this isn't actually in her nursery, but since she'll be sleeping in our room for the first little while, I wanted to show off her beautiful cradle that all the kind people I work with got for us. (That's her little seahorse friend in there. He plays womb sounds and classical music, and lights up. I think Rob likes it more than the baby will.)

So there you have it! Thank you for sticking with me on this extremely long post. Here's hoping Baby G will be inclined to grace us with her presence soon.

Due Date

2011-09-22T21:30:00.005-06:00

Well folks, today's the day. September 22, the day that has been in the forefront of my thoughts for 9 (+) months is on its way out. I have been pretty certain that she wouldn't be born today for awhile now, so I wasn't expecting anything. It's been a nice day. I went in this morning for an ultrasound to make sure it's safe to wait another week (my doctor likes to let first-time moms wait a week after their due dates before being induced).

It was wonderful to see Baby G again, although the little stink wouldn't show her face! Both hands covering the face. I guess she's just determined to make sure she's a surprise when we meet her. Also, she was very sleepy, which makes me think she's just too content in there to be bothered with the effort of being born. Guess she'll just come when she's good and ready!

Rob and I went on a date tonight, since it might be the last chance we get to go out before our sweetie is born. When we got back home I wanted of course to take a 40 week photo. As per usual, I wasn't very happy with the pictures so far and kept making him take more. He then said I was being vain and that it didn't matter and took the following picture of himself to prove his point:

Then I started laughing hysterically and he proceeded to take pictures of me laughing, which did not turn out any better than the first ones he took, but it was a funny moment.

I know this looks fake and super cheesy, but I really was laughing hysterically. Also, in the process of these first pictures I realized that the horizontal stripes were not a great idea at 40 weeks pregnant. So, since I am "super vain" about these pictures, I had him take a couple more after I'd changed. (P.S. Sneak peek of the nursery above! It's all finished, as of last night, and I'm pretty darn excited for it's big reveal, so look for that in a day or two, unless my baby's born before then.)

So here's Baby G on her due date. I would like her to be born tomorrow, on the first day of fall, but who knows.
Speaking of cheesy.... Hooray for Baby G!! Come out soon Little Missy! We can't wait to see you!

Nevermind

2011-09-13T07:42:00.003-06:00

Wow. Funny how a couple days can turn you around. After two really awful nights of sleep in a row, and a host of accompanying discomforts, I've decided that Miss Baby G needs to be born already.

Yes, I know she will come when she's ready.

Yes, I know that will probably be at least another week, if not two. (TWO...ugh.)

And yes, I'm sure I'll get through it.

But my patient and positive attitude is not being rewarded as I would have liked.

Guess I set myself up for that one.

On the plus side, I cleaned the crap out of my kitchen last night. I feel like I could die now as a result, but that kitchen is clean, and shall stay that way until we bring that baby home from the hospital.

Now to get Rob to clean up the living room. I told him it looks like a frat house. Other than my crochet stuff in one corner. Which would never be found in a frat house.

It's really not so bad...

2011-09-11T00:21:00.003-06:00

Hey. Still pregnant. I thought I'd be dying by this point, but I'm actually in pretty good spirits. At my last appointment, I'd only made a little bit of progress, but I wasn't disappointed. My doctor has been out of town all week so I didn't want to have her while he was gone anyway. While things have gotten pretty uncomfortable, I know I'm at most two and a half weeks away from being finished, and I can stick it out. Here are some of the reasons for my positivity:

I just made some baby booties to match her coming home from the hospital outfit. They're so tiny. I'd show you a picture, but then I'd have to take one, and it'll save time (and be EVEN CUTER) if I just wait and take one of HER wearing them.

I have bought what "some people" (Rob) have described as an excessive amount of Halloween apparel for Baby G. I'm sorry, but baby's first holiday stuff is a major weakness for me (Confession: I already have her Valentine's outfit). And I'm so excited to dress up my little Halloween baby.

Our favorite shows are coming back with new seasons the week of my due date. We're pretty stoked for new Modern Family, The Office (although I miss Michael Scott already), and Parks and Recreation. So even if I go past my due date, at least I'll have good TV to watch that day to cheer me up.

Rob finally broke down and let me buy these swaddling blankets I've been wanting for weeks. They weren't exactly a necessity, but I really, really wanted them. And they did not disappoint. They're the Aden and Anais bamboo swaddles, and they are like blankets made of spun clouds, I tell you. I want a giant one so I can swaddle myself with it.

I finally feel like I have enough baby socks on hand. Man, I had a devil of a time acquiring baby socks. There are a shocking amount of super ugly ones out there, and they charge an even more shocking price for like the tiniest article of clothing ever. But I think we're finally good.

My belly has gotten freakishly and comically lopsided. I think she's so big now that she's stuck in one spot, and she really likes to poke her feet out to one side and it is CRAZY looking. And it kind of hurts, seeing as she's a full-sized baby now. But it's funny to watch, and cool to push back against her little poky foot.

Her diaper bag and my hospital bag are both basically packed and ready to go. I'll have to grab a few things to add once we know for sure that it's go time, but I at least have a good start.

I think (fingers crossed) that I will be able to finish up my work in the next two weeks at least to a point where I won't leave anyone totally high and dry. I'm glad I don't really have to stress about that anymore.

Our apartment could always be messier. This is me trying to be optimistic. I'm mad as heck about how messy it is, but can't seem to muster up any energy to clean it. I'm hoping I'll get a final rush of nesting frenzy and get everything in order before we leave for the hospital, but lately that has been thin on the ground. Oh well.

The last of her furniture is ready and will be here sometime this week. Once it's in place, there are only a few finishing touches for the nursery and then I'll probably be ready for its big reveal. I'm really excited about it, and so glad it'll most likely be done before she gets here.

I really think I'm ready (aside from the messy apartment) for my daughter to be born. Ready, I'd say, but not in a negative "I'm so ready to be done" kind of way. I've enjoyed the experience of being pregnant, and I still have things to keep me busy (mostly napping) so I can wait a little longer until she comes. Talk to me in a week, I may be singing a different tune, but hopefully I can keep on keepin' on, or whatever.

Because once my sweet baby is here, life will be so different, and the whole world will be new. So I'm trying to just take things easy and enjoy the final days of my old world. I think it will make the transition a little easier.

Any day now...but not really...but maybe...but not...

2011-09-01T21:00:00.006-06:00

September is finally here. I can't even believe it. I'm 37 weeks today. That's officially full term, even though we're still three weeks away from our due date. I think that's so crazy and kind of unfair that 37 weeks is considered full term. I wish they would just keep that a secret, so the terrible phrase "any day now" would never creep into anyone's head this early.

I told myself from the beginning that I would expect to go all the way to 40 weeks and not hope to go early. But the closer I've gotten to today, to 37 weeks, the more eager I am to hold my baby, the more I'm ready to be not pregnant anymore, and the more it creeps into my mind that I COULD possibly go early.

The thing that is so maddening about this time of your first pregnancy is that you just have no idea what to expect. You are conscious of every little ache or pain, wondering if it's nothing, or the start of something. You're paranoid about your water breaking at work, or at the grocery store, or not at all. People give you advice and tell you what happened to them, and as kindly meant as all that is, it kinda bugs. Because everyone and every pregnancy is different, and you just don't, and can't, know what to expect.

At my appointment yesterday I got "checked," which obviously isn't a ride on the merry-go-round, but I was anxious to get a clearer idea of where things are at. Well, I'm dilated to a one. Sorry for those of you who hate that kind of talk. I kind of do too. Not because it grosses me out but it's just pretty personal stuff. But that's what everyone always asks and so it's kind of the way it is. Anyway, I left my appointment feeling pretty good. I was maybe the tiniest bit disappointed that things aren't further along, but it's a start, and I really do need these next couple weeks to get things in order at home, to work, and of course I want her to come when she's ready.

So I've been fine all day today thinking she would just come around her due date, or maybe even after, which would not be my favorite thing, though not the end of the world. But of course, as September 1, my 37 week mark, comes to an end, the what ifs and the maybes creep back into my mind, and I wonder if it really could be "any day now."

I guess that's just the curse of being "full term."

New Year's Resolutions

2011-08-26T01:08:00.009-06:00

A few weeks ago I crossed one of my New Year's resolutions off my list. I finished my first-ever quilt. I started this quilt last fall, and actually I made and finished my baby quilt before this one was finished, but I'm still counting this one as my first. Voila:

the back

the front

After I finished this I went back and read all of my other resolutions, you know, to see how I was doing. I was pleased to see that things are about half and half. No, I haven't been good about cooking dinner and trying new recipes (sorry Rob). And no, I did not learn to knit, nor did I limit my soda drinking to once a week (and I probably never will).

But I have been much better about reading my scriptures. And eating decent breakfasts (you know, on account of the fact that I'm really feeding someone other than myself). And I did finish this quilt.

I'm actually glad that things ended up the way they did. I think I'd be even more tired if I tried to do all the things I set out to do. Plus now I can learn to knit next year. And I won't have to think of a bunch of new resolutions.

Since we were taking pictures of the quilt, we tried to get a good 35 (1/2) week shot, since now we're nearing the end of things.

It may have been our worst "photo shoot" to date. See for yourself:

Weird angry eyes. It was really sunny out, so I was just trying not to squint. At least I succeeded in that. And also looking really mean.

Although perhaps not as mean as I look in this one. I dunno what the deal was. Except it was super hot outside. Yeah maybe that was it.

Then of course we started fighting about how bad these pictures were turning out (not seriously fighting, in case you're worried about the state of our marriage). Then Rob said something that was probably ridiculous, and took a picture of this reaction. Yikes.

We'll try again for 36 weeks (which was today, but oh well. Tomorrow works just the same).

So, how are your resolutions coming? Do you remember what they were? Don't feel bad if you don't. I had to look back on mine too. But it was kind of nice to do that, in the random month of August. Now for the rest of the year I can keep these things in mind and still work on them, while I enjoy the rest of 2011.

Time is Flying By...

2011-08-15T20:16:00.011-06:00

I decided I wanted to do something different for my 34 week picture this past weekend. So away we went:

We decided to put the balloons from my baby shower to good use. These pictures are perhaps a bit cheesy, but it was fun, and I wanted to do something a little whimsical for a change instead of just standing there like I usually do.

I had not one, but TWO baby showers this weekend, and they were both excellent. On Friday night, the Goates ladies threw me the traditional Goates baby shower. We tied this quilt for Baby G:

Isn't it lovely? I just love that big roses print. I can't wait to see it all bound up and finished. It will be so special too because everyone worked on it for her. And they made me a whole bunch of cute tiny ribbon baby bows to stick on her little head in hopes that people won't come up to me and say "What a darling little boy." Although I hear people will probably do that anyway.

It was such a nice shower and I always love getting together with all the aunts and cousins. We've got a wedding and a couple more babies on this side coming up, so there are more great showers to come!

On Saturday I had my last shower. It was at my mom's and my sister Chloe and my dear friend Karissa were the co-hostesses. My camera died early on in the game but here are a few pictures of some of the details:

Sugar cookies in the shape of princess crowns. Sugar and spice...

Chloe made these DARLING magnolias out of napkins! She stayed up until 2:00 a.m. working on them and they were hung all over the house. I'm going to hang some in the nursery because they are too cute not to save.

My mom's famous cupcakes. They got snapped up right quick. I only got one, which is way below my usual number.

Here I am with my two lovely grandmas. They both made me very special things for the baby. My grandma on the left made me this embroidery sampler which you shall see soon in the nursery and I started bawling when I opened it even though I already knew about it. She's also crocheting Magnolia's blessing dress, and it is so gorgeous. My grandma on the right made me this sweet little blanket that is so soft and pretty; she made me one when I was a baby too, so I was so excited to get it. They also both gave us some great baby essentials. They were so generous and I love them both so much.

And, yes, my camera died after this. I was sad too, because I got some fabulous gifts. We really only need a handful of things now to be completely set. This is such a relief to me, as the obsessive planner/preparer that I am. So I think I'm going to make one last trip to Target and we should be good to go!

I had an appointment today and it really hit me how close we are. Only about five more weeks to go until my due date. I've already had at least one "real" contraction as my doctor said, which is so crazy. Our baby girl will be here before we know it. I thought I'd be more anxious than I am at this point. Yes, when I really think about it, I get nervous for labor and all of that, and taking home a newborn baby, and finishing work and getting our apartment clean and feeling ready, but more than anything we are so excited to meet her.

And since I've gotten more uncomfortable by the day, I am pretty much certain that I'll be ready for pregnancy to end soon. But in all honesty it has been a really special and lovely time for us. Thank you so much to everyone who threw/came to my showers. We feel so loved and blessed to have so many people who care about us and our sweet baby girl.

Baby Shower!

2011-08-09T23:07:00.009-06:00

Last week my sweet friend Sammy threw me a baby shower. As you knew from my previous post, I'd been feeling kind of blue and this shower was just what I needed last week. I've decided that baby showers are the most fun thing ever, especially when they are your own. Sammy did such a great job; everything was so cute and nice and I just loved everything. Thank you everyone who came, and for all of Baby Magnolia's sweet gifts. After the shower I went and put them away in her room and it made me all the more excited for her to arrive.

Here are some pictures of the shower, courtesy again of Sammy, who took pictures for me too.

Cute Sammy and me (this is my "baby shower" dress I was talking about. It's really comfy and flowy and nice. You're sure to see it again in photos to come.)

It was "shower" themed, and so cute! Sammy made these darling rain clouds to hang over the delicious treats.

Closeup of said treats. Thanks to Sammy, Anna, and Heather for making them; they were to die for (or TDF, as my mom always says). We took some leftovers home and let's just say that I may have eaten them for breakfast.

Cloud cupcakes made by Anna. So cute, right?

Anna, her cute little boy Max, Dani, and Me, opening presents and looking super, super happy about it. Can you blame me though? Baby things are the best.

The cute favors. I LOVE lemon drops too and since I was the last one to leave, I got to take home plenty of extras, which have been delightful. "Thanks for dropping by" everyone, and thank you for your great friendships and you know, just everything. Lots of the girls are moving soon and it was great to get together and I really appreciated that they came.

A special thanks again to Sammy. She is such a great friend and is always there when I need to vent or go shopping or show someone my latest baby purchase or craft thing. She had her darling little Violet a little over a year ago , and we had the same doctor, so it's been so great to have her to ask questions and get opinions and just gab about everything. Rob and I love hanging out with Sammy and Erik and we're so lucky to have them as friends and neighbors. Thank you so much Sammy for the wonderful shower and for everything!

32 Week Blues

2011-07-30T20:59:00.005-06:00

Hey. I'm sure you're not very excited to read this after seeing the title. Don't worry, I will try not to be as big of a Debbie Downer as I feel like right now. But as you may have guessed, I've been feeling a bit blue this week. Here are a few silly reasons:

I'm getting really stressed about finishing my work before the baby comes. I am working on this huge project for the university and basically our deadline is my due date. Actually it's the end of August, to give us some leeway, so it's a lot of pressure. Some days I feel great about it and think I'll get it all done, and ever since I've been working in this job I've really loved it, but this week I've been having a hard time focusing and all I want to do is be anywhere but work.

So, I'm pretty sure I doubled in size this week. I've been wearing all my normal jeans this whole time, some with the help of the lovely hair tie, but this week I've gotten pretty uncomfortable. Also, lots of shirts I've been wearing the whole time are suddenly too short, which is terrible because I need long shirts to cover the hair tie that holds my jeans closed. So I feel like I get home from work (to which I always wear the exact same rotation of maternity dresses) and just throw on a shirt of Rob's and some basketball shorts, so I feel pretty frumpy most times. And if we go out after or do something with friends I don't have anything casual to wear that's cute. And since I only have eight weeks left, I don't really want to buy a pair of maternity jeans or any new shirts. So I'm left to just sigh over my own vanity.

Baby G is apparently very fond of being breach. At my last appointment my doctor found her little head right in between my ribs and told me that it was okay since there's still time, but that if she doesn't flip I'll have to have a C-section. I already knew that, but I never really thought about the possibility of her being breach. Ever since that appointment she's pretty much always been breach that I can tell. All of her kicks are really low and I either feel her head up or sideways. I'm not really too worried about it yet, but I really just wish she'd be head down at least sometimes so that I could worry about that less.

I feel pretty disconnected from Rob lately, which you may have noticed in my last post. We basically just go to work, come home, he will watch a movie or do stuff on the computer, and I will clean the house or work on baby crafts. And then we go to sleep. And, repeat.

So I've been kind of blue. None of these are really valid or good reasons, and I know that. I think I'm just stressed and hormonal. So thanks for letting me whine a bit.

I wanted to take a 32 weeks picture, since for some reason that seems to me to be a nice round number to document. Usually when I do these I try to wear my favorite outfits and make sure my hair looks decent, but I thought in the spirit of this crazy week, I'd keep it real.

Here we are. Streaky bathroom mirrors and all. This is actually one of my shirts, and not one of Rob's, but you better believe that these are my middle school gym shorts. Awesome, huh?

So, what did I do to cheer myself up today? I went to the mall and bought a new outfit. I know I vowed I wouldn't buy any more maternity clothes. But I just couldn't take it anymore. And I wanted something pretty and new to wear to my baby showers (which is another thing I've got coming up to lift my spirits). So I did. I'd post a picture of that, but you'll probably be seeing plenty of it since I plan to wear it to death in the next eight weeks. It's another dress. I guess that's just the way I roll as far as maternity clothes go. I tried on some jeans but that was a nightmare. So I'm just going to force the hair-tied jeans as long as we can, and perhaps confine myself to my room as soon as that becomes socially unacceptable.

Dear Rob,

2011-07-28T16:57:00.002-06:00

Thank you for the surprise manicure and pedicure you took me to get on Monday. I’m sorry I was being bratty and uncooperative when you tried to make me go. That was such a sweet thing for you to do for me, and I was so happy the next morning when I woke up and saw my feet, not yet swollen for the day, looking so pretty and almost like they used to.

I’m sorry I always nag you about cleaning the house.

I’m sorry I always nag you to move heavy things around and hang stuff on the walls.

I’m sorry that I give you the silent treatment and storm around in a foul mood when my nagging doesn’t work.

Thank you for the unexpected flowers from last week. They still look so pretty, and they smell so great, and every time I think about them I can’t help but smile at that sweet surprise. I think you got them for me because we fought that day, but I can barely remember now because those lovely flowers have eclipsed the fight (hmmm…I think there’s a lesson to be learned here.)

I’m sorry that I have cooked you less than 10 real meals in the last 32 weeks. I hope to one day make up for it.

Thank you for finally driving the car. It is such a relief to me to know that I won’t have to drive myself to the hospital when the baby comes. (And, though I hate to say “I told you so,” I knew you’d like it once you got the hang of things.)

I’m sorry that I spend the vast majority of my free time neglecting you for crafting, sewing, or making dumb little things that probably seem really pointless to you.

I’m sorry I keep stealing your clothes. And that I look ridiculous in general when it’s just the two of us at home.

Thank you for being patient and nice when I buy baby stuff, and for pretending to care about how cute it is when I make you look at it.

Thank you for telling me that I look cute pregnant, and that I will be a good mama.

I hope you can be patient with me in these final eight weeks. It’s probably only going to get worse. And also, after that, I really can’t guarantee anything. And I’m sorry to say it, but you’re stuck with me. Forever.

But take comfort in the fact that I love you very much.

Love,

Your Viennie

P.S. You may have to turn a blind eye to all the money that I "might" be planning on spending at Cafe Rio in the next eight weeks. Just trying to help you mentally prepare for that.

Harry Potter, Baby

2011-07-22T11:23:00.004-06:00

Well, it's been a whole week since we saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, but it's been a crazy week so I haven't had time to post about it. Don't worry, I'm going to try to keep things concise.

I was sort of dreading seeing the movie because then it would all be over. The epic conclusion to my childhood and youth, essentially. Plus the end of the seventh book is full of scenes that induce massive amounts of weeping from me (no matter how many times I read it) and combining seeing those on screen with pregnancy hormones was making me a little nervous.

I of course cried (I'd have to be a heartless wretch not to), but I must confess that my initial reaction to the movie was one of slight disappointment.

Before you boo me off the stage here, let me explain. With all of the previous films I went into things with an open mind, knowing they can't recreate the books and that they would probably make weird changes. With the exception of the third movie, which I can barely stand to watch, I have never been really that disappointed before. But this time around, my expectations were super high since Part One had been awesome and followed the book extremely well, and you know, it's the end, so I thought they'd really get everything near perfect.

Part Two, not as much. And I thought some of the discrepancies were stupid. The things that really disappointed me were:

1. The Snape situation. I thought it was rushed and very unclear, and nowhere near as poignant and tragic as it is in the book. I know they couldn't spend forever on that scene, but I think that is one of the most important moments in the book and I felt like they didn't do it justice.

2. Fred's death. That part always kills me and while they show him dead with all the Weasleys around, I felt like it was sort of cheated because they didn't show it how it really happened.

3. I don't understand why they didn't just have Neville kill the snake in front of everyone. I think it's way cooler that way, how everyone sees him do it.

4. Along the same lines, when Harry kills Voldemort, it's much cooler in the book when they're in the great hall and Harry is talking to him and getting in his head and everyone is around. I thought the scene in the movie was anticlimactic.

You might not agree with me on any of these matters (and there were more things that I didn't like), but I think I was disappointed because these are some of my favorite parts in the books so I was most looking forward to these scenes and I just didn't like the choices they made regarding them.

I really did love the movie though; I think I need to see it again, you know, to fully process things. The battle for Hogwarts was super rad (not as rad as it is in the books, which would have been impossible, so it was okay), I adored every second that Professor McGonagall was on screen, and I thought the scene with the resurrection stone was amazing. So it's not like I hated it, I think I just had higher expectations.

And here I am, wearing my super awesome Harry Potter shirt that I bought in December and vowed to wear to the premiere of the movie. I was a little nervous that it wouldn't fit anymore, but I think it was socially acceptable enough.

Harry's face always looks distorted like that. It's a really ugly shirt, which is probably why it was 50% off. But I thought I'd represent, and it was much too hot to wear my Ravenclaw scarf.

Long live Harry Potter. And I solemnly swear I will never stop having Harry Potter nights, even though this was the last "official" one.

For My Mama

2011-07-11T21:25:00.009-06:00

Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone. Here is a portion of our conversation:

M: "When are you going to post your 29 week picture?" (See my previous post.)

V: "It doesn't exist. I didn't look cute that day, remember?"

M: "Well, I'd still like to see one."

V: "I'm just going to wait until 30 weeks; might as well by this point."

Rob, in the background, eavesdropping as usual: "I'll take one right now!"

M (who heard him): "Yeah, take one right now!"

V (looks down at "Sunday nap" attire): "No thanks. I definitely don't look cute right now."

M: "Fine, take one tomorrow and post it. I want to see."

V: "Okay, I guess I will see what I can do."

Flash forward to this morning. I get all ready for work, and of course I want to take the picture then because by the end of the day I will not look very good (is this just me? Please tell me it's not.). So I have Rob go outside with me in our yard, you know, for some new and interesting background material, and out of the 19 pictures that he took (yeah he was thrilled. He just started randomly snapping after I didn't like the first three), I've narrowed it down to these few:
Awkwardly looking at my own bangs. Everyone knows a great photo is one where you can't see your irises or pupils.

A "candid" shot, you know, so it looks more natural and less contrived. Yeah.

Getting better, except for the sour patch kid face.

Even better, except for the fact that I'm not looking at the camera for some reason. Weird. And MORE contrived than actually looking at the camera.

There we go. A normal, if somewhat boring, 29 (1/2) week photo.

There you go, Mama. Proof that getting a decent pregnancy picture is much more of an ordeal than one might think. To the rest of you, I'm sorry that you've had to look at all of these pictures of my orange maternity dress ($6 at Target, yo!), and the bush by my house, and me. Next time I'll try to post just one.

The Final Third

2011-07-08T15:43:00.003-06:00

I had my 29 week appointment yesterday. It was not a fun appointment. I had to take the glucose test, which I never expected to be bad, but I almost threw up that orange drink twice before I even got to the doctor, and then I felt absolutely wretched for the rest of the day. Also, I’m RH negative, so I had to get the Rhogam shot. If you don’t know what that is, google it. Anyway, I was kind of dreading the shot, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I kind of wonder if the combination of getting the shot plus taking the glucose test made me feel sick, because I haven’t heard of other people feeling bad after either of those two things separately.

Anyway, I was planning on doing this update post and having a cute 29 week picture, but I got out of my appointment, went to work for an hour, and then went home because I felt terrible. On the way to my car it was pouring so I got drenched. Once I got home and was in my jammies, my cutesy and enthusiastic 29-week pregnancy blog post ideas fell by the wayside.

But I thought I could still give an update on the third trimester goings on, so here are a few of my thoughts on this current stage pregnancy:

My second trimester was way too short. It got a late start and must have departed early, because for the last few weeks I have not felt as great. I didn’t expect the third trimester discomforts to hit me so early, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. Now I see why it’s the second trimester magic. Far too quickly does it disappear.

Sometimes my feet get swollen. I was not expecting that until August. Luckily this doesn’t happen every day, but when it’s hot, or I’m wearing uncomfortable shoes, or I sit at work all day (so basically Monday thru Friday) they swell up real huge like.

On a related note, I have retired my wedding ring for the rest of my confinement. This made me really sad, because I adore my ring and I also didn’t expect this to happen as soon as it did. I can still get it on, but then it won’t come off easily and the band is so thin that it digs into my finger and hurts to wear. Sadness.

Apparently I strained my ribs on the left side, or something. I asked my doctor about it because they’ve been hurting for a while, and he said that sometimes if you’re a smaller person as the baby grows it can strain your ribs, and basically it’ll just hurt until the baby’s born. Swell. So I can’t really lie down on my left side, and sometimes it hurts even when I’m sitting or laying on the other side.

Wowza, it is hot. I’m not going to whine about being hot and pregnant in the summer though (at least not publicly). We wanted a fall baby, so I knew what I was getting in to. There are pros and cons to having a baby during every season, so I’m just glad that I have lots of airy dresses. And taking cold showers before bed is really nice.

Luckily, we just bought an air conditioning unit for our bedroom. Our apartment has no AC, so this was a must. That thing is a delight. All I want to do is take naps in there.

Probably because nighttime sleep is beginning to slip away from me. Now this is really a hard thing because I adore sleeping. And if I don’t get it, my life is basically ruined. I’ve been lucky and slept really well most of my pregnancy, other than some messed up dreams that wake me up all scared. (For example, the other night I dreamed that the Backstreet Boys gave me a silk baby blanket. Apparently we were close enough to warrant such gift giving. One side of the blanket was really darling and had owls in trees all over it. Then I turned it over and the other side was illustrated with horrific scenes of hippos fighting each other for territory. I woke up both disgusted and frightened, and completely baffled as to why on earth Kevin would go and do a thing like that. Then I realized it was hilarious and I started laughing hysterically.) Anyway, yes, I’m not sleeping as great lately, and I know it’s only going to get worse from here on out.

I still love feeling Baby G move, and now she’s big enough that instead of just little kicks and flutters, there’s a lot weirder stuff going on. Often I’ll put my hand on my belly and feel some hard little body part right under the surface. I still can’t identify them because I think she’s too little, but it’s wild. And sometimes when she’s really partying on in there, I’ll just sit and watch my tummy shake. It. Is. CRAZY. And really cool.

I’m still tackling my nursery and other projects with guns a blazin’, but not as blazin’ as before. I get more tired, and less enthusiastic, than I was in the second trimester. But luckily I’m getting pretty close. I just have to paint the dresser, make the crib skirt, bind the quilt, and a few little odds and ends projects. My mom, grandma, and sister have made or are working on some things for her nursery too, but those are surprises that I won’t see until later. I’m pretty excited about the nursery. I love go in there all the time and just look at everything we have so far. It makes me excited for her to arrive.

Now that most of the bigger nursery projects are finished or close, I want to do a few other little baby projects: burb cloths, bibs, and of course, headbands. I have started making little flowers and bows, mostly just with scraps and what I have at home. I need to figure out an elastic solution; anyone have any good ideas? I like the ones made from tights, but I also want to find some kind of thin elastic that still looks pretty and isn’t just plain white sewing elastic.

My appetite has gotten weird again. By that I mean I don’t really have one much anymore (again. Had it back for three months, now it’s gone). I get mild heartburn and everything I eat sort of makes me feel sick to my stomach. It’s not accompanied by the constant nausea of the first trimester, which is nice, but it’s hard to make myself eat.

Cravings…ice, snow cones, popsicles (specifically Dreyer’s Fruit Bars – crazy delicious) and any ice/fruit type combos. I would really like a nice virgin margarita, with salt of course. I often want cranberry juice, or soda, so most of my cravings are beverage oriented, which probably has something to do with the fact that I don’t really like eating. I still love me some French fries (Mickey D’s), and I still yearn for movie theater popcorn but I’ve stopped asking Rob to go get it for me.

I’m not buying any more maternity clothes. It’s not worth it to buy something that I’ll only wear for a tiny bit longer. Plus I’m still feeling okay about most of what I have. Other than shoes. I can only really wear sandals, and I only have one pair of those, unless you count Old Navy flip flops, which I don’t, because they’re not real shoes and they’re not very work appropriate. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t resorted to wearing them to work anyway on occasional desperate days.

I also made a vow that I won’t buy any more baby clothes until after she’s born. I made that vow to Rob, because he made me. Now, don’t judge me. At least half of her clothes were either bought by my mom or given to me at my first baby shower, so it’s not like I’ve been buying up everything in sight. I’ve gotten some KILLER deals and I have a wide range of sizes, so there’s not an excessive amount of clothes in one size. I promised Rob I won’t buy anymore until after she’s born because I’ll need to see what we’ll still need after other showers and based on how big she is and stuff. So far, I have faithfully kept that promise. Mostly by avoiding Target, Carters, and other baby clothes favorites of mine.

I could probably ramble on and on about what it’s like to be pregnant these days (as I’ve proven in previous posts) and you’re all probably pretty bored by now anyway, but this is really all that’s going on with me right now. Unless you’d like to hear about my work, which, trust me, you don’t. Also, sorry this is a picture-less post. I will try to get a 30 week shot next week since my 29 week endeavor didn’t pan out.

Baby Blankies

2011-07-05T21:49:00.006-06:00

Happy belated Independence Day! Rob and I spent a pretty quiet weekend up in Logan. It was so nice to have a three-day weekend at home to relax, take naps in our sweet air-conditioned room, and get some things done around the house. In addition to laundry and dishes catch up, I had some time to work on a couple baby projects I wanted to share.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I immediately wanted to get working on stuff for Baby G. But of course since you spend the first half of pregnancy not knowing the gender (and in my couch wanting to do nothing other than lie on the couch), it was hard to really do much of anything. I made that little giraffe, and then I decided to crochet a gender-neutral blankie. I have always loved those retro granny square afghans, but I'd never made one before. So I went through my yarn stash and grabbed a bunch of colors I liked and started making one for Baby G. I worked on it for awhile, but then once I found out we were having a girl, other more girl-specific projects took over.

But in the last few weeks I took up the blanket again and this weekend I finished it! Behold:

Ta da! (That's my almost-29-week tummy hiding behind. I'll probably post another picture soon.) The blanket isn't as big as I originally planned, but I ran out of the yellow yarn and I didn't want to go out and buy an entire skein. So it'll just be a little throw for tummy time and to bundle up with in the car seat this winter. You can't really see the colors too well, but it's dark red (called "paprika"), bright yellow, teal, gray, green, and cream. It was a great project when I wanted something to work on without having to think too much.

Rob wanted in on the blanket modeling action. It looks even smaller when he holds it up. But I think it'll be just perfect for a tiny babe.

And for my other project...the crib quilt is (almost) finished! All I have left to do is the binding, but I couldn't wait to show it until then, so here it is!!!

I finished it tonight and I'm quite proud of it. I loved all the fabrics so much that I decided on just a simple patchwork pattern, and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. It's only my second quilt, and this one went much faster than the first (which is also, incidentally, waiting to be bound. I'm a little frightened of binding a quilt. But I'll just have to bite the bullet here soon.) I think this one was easier both because it's a lot smaller than my first, and because I was more motivated to finish since it's all part of my nesting craze. Here's the back:

I pieced the scrappy back with some of my favorite prints and a strip of leftover squares. The quilt isn't perfect; some of the corners don't match up quite right, some of the quilted lines aren't exactly straight, and there are a few puckers in the quilting, but I'm really proud of it. I made it start to finish (well, I will have once it is finished) myself, and I can't wait to wrap my little daughter up in it. I hope she likes it as much as I do.

I have one more blanket I'm planning on doing for the baby. I hadn't planned on doing three myself, because I'm sure she'll get more, but I found this darling baby duvet cover (it has elephants on it!!!) at Ikea on clearance for $5, so I'm going to get batting for it and tie it to make a fluffy little play quilt. It'll be a quick and easy job and it was such a great deal I couldn't pass it up (and come on, elephants!!!!). Plus babies can never have too many blankies.

The Bane of My Existence

2011-06-25T22:30:00.009-06:00

That would be the changing table. Remember how I bought it at the D.I. a couple months ago, and I was so thrilled because it matched the crib we picked out, and it was only $10? Well all it needed was to be painted black, or so I thought. I don't have any before photos, because I'm not really into those, so you'll just have to imagine it. Brown, shiny, a few dents and nicks but nothing serious. Ugly straps to strap your baby down with apparently, which I had Rob remove. So I thought it would be a quick and easy job, especially since I've repainted furniture before, and I so know what I'm doing.

Harty har har. What a nightmare. I decided to spray paint it because it's a Jenny Lind style changing table and I thought it would be way too hard to sand the varnish off all of the spindles. So I did a little internet research, asked my doctor if it was okay to spray paint ('tis, as long as you do it outside) and set out on this prospect. I bought a can of spray primer and a can of black paint. I was all stoked because spray paint is so cheap. Can you believe what an idiot I was, and I thought I could do the whole thing with one can of each?

Yeah. Well the primer went on all uneven and gritty, even though I shook it for plenty of time. I used a more expensive brand because I'd read that it worked great, but I wasn't happy with the coverage, it got all drippy and runny, and the can ran out before I'd even given half of it one coat. It's really hard to spray Jenny Lind furniture, FYI, because you lose a lot of the paint through the gaps in the spindles. So I was getting mighty irritated.

Did I mention I'd been waiting weeks to actually paint the dang thing because the weather's been so wet? Well I had. So on the first evening after work that was dry and sunny, I tried to get the whole thing done. After buying more primer (a cheaper brand that worked much better) and paint, I was obsessively bent on finishing and decided to work into the night. Observe:

Here I am at around 10:00 p.m., shaking my final can of black paint (wearing Rob's jeans; nice huh? My old "painting jeans" are a fool's hope these days.)

So spray painting something black after dark? Not a great idea. I know right? I was surprised too. I had my back porch light on and was using a flashlight, so it was looking pretty good. I let it dry for about an hour and had Rob bring it inside because I didn't want it sitting out overnight, what with Logan's unpredictable weather. Once he did I could see that I'd missed a few spots. I was so, so, SO angry. Especially because they were small spots and I'd finished my last can, so I'd have to buy another can just to fix them, and I'd already spent more on paint than I did on the table. I decided to call it a night and revisit the issue the next day. Plus I was exhausted, achy, and of course grumpy.

In the light of day the spots I missed didn't look too bad. They were also not very visible from the front, and since I am having the back against the wall, I decided no one would notice. I did put a little acrylic craft paint over a few of them, and if you look really closely you can tell, but I am so far past caring by now, so what's done is done.

So here we go, done right? If only. The changing table has three shelves, and they're not made of real wood, but of that crappy brown board stuff. Spray paint does NOT take well to that, but I didn't cover the shelves while I was spraying, so some got on and left this thick, gritty, dusty coating. I didn't really know what to do about it, but finally decided to modge podge some scrapbook paper on the shelves to cover them.

Since we've been out of town and running around the past few weeks, the stupid table just sat in the middle of our kitchen, making me more angry every time I went in there. One weekend I bought some baskets at Ikea for storing changing and other baby stuff on the table, but I had to wait until I had time to fix the shelves before I could do anything with those.

Finally last week I had the time and the willpower to get to business. I sanded and wiped and scraped until I smoothed down the crappy dust coating, and I bought some scrapbook paper to cover the shelves. They of course didn't have enough sheets of the one I wanted, and since I just wanted the blasted thing done I decided that rather than wait for the store to get more of that one, I picked a second one and went for a scrappy, ripped paper sort of look (the paper for the shelves also cost more than the table itself, joy). The other night after Rob went to bed I finished the table, and I am so, so, SO happy that it is done.

Here's a better view of the shelves. I am really happy with how it turned out, but it didn't end up being as much of a steal as I'd hoped, and never has a DIY project caused me so much grief or taken so much time, so I don't know if it was worth it. Ultimately I'm glad I have it; I don't think I would have bought a new one, and I think it looks pretty cute, so I guess I'll just put the bad experience behind me be happy about it.

Soon I aim to start painting the dresser (oh my goodness, I can't wait to show you the dresser, it's awesome). I don't think this will be as bad, because it doesn't need sanding and I'm using a paint I've already used before so I don't think I'll be thrown any curve balls. Also, usually by the end of June Logan has officially warmed up so I don't think I'll have as many weather issues. At least, here's hoping it's a better experience. I've got to get it done before I get more hot and uncomfortable, and since that is progressing steadily by the day, my time is running out.

First Week of Summer!

2011-06-25T21:32:00.013-06:00

Now that we're finally back in Logan for more than a couple days at a time, we've had time to notice that summer is in full swing. To kick things off, this week we headed up Green Canyon with our good friends the Obergs to have a campfire, roast some hot dogs, and enjoy the beautiful canyon.

Here are Rob and Erik by the fire they started.

Sammy and me (obviously that's me on the left, I just didn't want to say "me and Sammy," because it's not proper grammar. Man, I'm cool.) roasting our dogs. There is nothing quite like a hot dog cooked over an open flame in the summertime. Mmmm.

And here is cute Baby Violet! Isn't she a doll? She will be a year old in a couple weeks and she is such a funny thing.

Roasting smores, naturally. We had the jumbo marshmallows, so that's why Rob has it all over his face. It was perhaps more than he could handle. But probably not because I think he ate two.

Haha, I kept trying to get a picture of her but she just wanted my water bottle. I wouldn't give it to her because it was heavy, and she wasn't too happy about it.

But she's a happy girl, so she wasn't upset for long.

We had a great time, and hope to get up there a few more times this summer. We're really lucky to live in such a beautiful place. The mountains are like two minutes from where we live and it's lovely up there. Plus Rob loves rambling around in the woods, so he's always wanting to go up there.

This weekend is the first weekend we've had in awhile up here and Logan, and I have loved it. I've been able to get a lot done on the nursery and it's just nice to be home and be able to relax a bit. Also, Rob had a fun idea for our Saturday afternoon. We headed up to campus and went on a tour of Aggie Ice cream! It's $3 a person and after the tour of where they make the famous Aggie Ice Cream, you of course get an ice cream cone.

Here we are before the tour started.

The secret ice cream lab. Actually I don't think it's a secret, because otherwise they wouldn't give tours.

After the tour we went back to get our ice cream, but since there was a large troupe of cub scouts and a few families with kids on the tour as well, we decided to get sandwiches for lunch first to give the line a chance to die down. So basically, Aggie Ice Cream's sandwiches are my favorite thing ever. They are really cheap and you can get basically whatever you want on them. And their Dijon mustard is divine. So I really enjoyed that part of the day. Then we got our ice cream...

I was going to branch out today, but I just ended up getting my old favorite, chocolate chip cookie dough. I always do that.

Rob got Aggie Blue Mint, which is the biggest seller, and for good reason. I don't even usually like mint ice cream, but that stuff is tasty.

It was a fun idea to do something out of the ordinary. And of course we needed to ring in the first week of summer with ice cream, right? Hmmm. Actually I could use some more right now. Think I can talk Rob into running out and getting me some?

We'll see how that goes.

Home Again

2011-06-20T22:00:00.011-06:00

We are finally home sweet home, and I'm really hoping to keep it that way for awhile. Our sojourns out of town have been pretty great, but we're both busy with work and we've been waiting to enjoy this Logan summer that's finally here, and I've been itching to get back to my baby to-do list. But before I get to those, I wanted to chronical our last few days in California. (Sidenote: I never got any pictures, but oh my the flowers in Southern California are unrivaled. They are everywhere. My very favorites were the magnolia trees :) which are so beautiful and don't grow in Utah, so I loved spotting them everywhere.)

The best part (for me) of the trip was the wonderful surprise baby shower my family threw for me. Unfortunately, I thought we were just having dinner at my aunt Lauren's so I forgot my camera. So I have no pictures, which makes me really sad, because I walked into the house to find darling baby decorations and a big pile of gifts.

It was such a great shower. It was so fun to have all my family members there, and it was awesome because Rob got to open presents too. I think guys get left out of a lot of the whole pregnancy thing, so it was fun for him to be part of it that way. We got so many great gifts for Baby G; tons of adorable clothes, some little toys, a pack n play (AWESOME, and totally unexpected), my favorite Johnson's Baby products, towels, bibs, a bunch of diapers, and more. I was so happy because lately I've been worrying about how in the world we're going to manage to get everything we need on time, and this shower helped so much. I never thought I'd be so excited to get diapers for a present, but I really was. Thank you so much everyone!

Here are some pictures of the rest of our trip:

My cousin graduated high school and my aunt threw him the party of the year. There was a cotton candy machine for crying out loud.

A pilgrimage to Sprinkles Cupcakes of course. Their seasonal cupcake: Key Lime. Oh baby, oh baby.

A trip to Farmer's Market in Huntington Beach. This was a goat cheese booth. I dunno if you can read it, but the quote below says "Where every goat has a name." Hee hee.

Lots of ping pong was played. My aunt bought this table for the graduation party, and Rob and my uncle Tim put it together. Here is Rob about to play doubles with my uncle Austin. What a couple of hams.

My mom, engaged in a fierce battle with my grandpa. They were really getting into it. They kept screaming and talking trash.

There was also lots of Just Dance to be played. Even I did it. There will be no photos of that shared.

While I didn't get any presents from Disneyland (boohoo), Rob did get this sweet little Eeyore for his little Baby Girl. What a cute daddy.

And here we are, being awesome, kicking...bums...and taking names. I wish we'd bought these. I really, truly do.

All in all, it was a great trip, but we came back pretty tired. I always hate coming back from a trip. You know, the unpacking, empty fridge, no desire to do anything. But life must go on, and so it does. Thanks to my family for a great trip; I always love going back to my roots and spending time with all those crazies.

Life's a Beach

2011-06-15T00:02:00.013-06:00

Greetings from California. I am currently sitting on my aunt's couch, waiting until midnight when it's time to pick up Rob and Chloe from Disneyland. Yes, that's right, they went to Disneyland without me. I decided it was not prudent to send $80 when I can't even ride all the best rides, so just the two of them went today. I'm not going to lie to you, I've been pretty sad all day. It helped a little when they told me it was super crowded and hot, so I know I would have been pretty miserable had I gone, but still. It is the happiest place on earth, and it'll probably be a few years before we can go again, because we'll have to wait until Baby Girl is a bit older to appreciate the magic. Sigh. Feel free to pity me. Or not. I am still in California, after all.

Here are some pictures of some of our adventures thus far:

The first night we got in we went with my family down to Old Town Orange and had dinner at this awesome BBQ place. Then we walked around the Circle and had our picture taken in front of this lovely fountain that you can hardly see. Oh well. There were orange trees and beautiful flowers all around it. Made me really happy to be back in California.

Before you freak out and call Child Services on me, please let me explain. My aunt went into this old fashioned candy shop and bought a pack of candy cigarettes. Aren't we funny?

Yesterday we drove down to Newport Beach with my grandparents. We got some delicious clam chowder from a little fish place for lunch, and then the three of us kids hit the beach.

Here are Chloe and Rob beckoning me to join them in the ocean. Normally I would, but I was trying to maintain a low profile, because I looked like this...

So much for a low profile, eh? Here I am in all my 26ish weeks pregnant glory. Yikes. I bought this swimsuit before our trip. It's not maternity, but it's a much larger size in order to give me the length I needed for the belly. Unfortunately this also means it is quite ill-fitting in the bum, so that's the main reason I was self-conscious. Oh well, I might as well enjoy the only time I have an excuse to be this large.

Chloe, taking some photos of the lovely scenery. It really was a perfect day at the beach.

Rob is, as you see, overjoyed to meet the waves.

Here he is trying to force me to come swimming. I did get in up to my waist approximately, but as always with the Pacific, the ocean was freezing. Plus we weren't going to be there very long so I didn't want to take forever to have to dry out and then sit in a wet swimsuit in the car. I know, I'm lame. But he was pretty cute trying to coax/force me in the water.

Here is Rob's famous sympathy belly. He will be upset with me for posting this, but I think it's so funny. He's a really trim guy so the sympathy weight he's gained has been pretty endearing. He said his goal is to gain the weight with me and then we can lose it together. So far he's gained quite a bit more than I have (although both of those numbers shall remain a secret), and I hope to keep it that way.
However, on this trip we've been pretty bad about treats. Case in point, the famous Balboa Island frozen bananas and Balboa Bars you see us enjoying here, courtesy of my wonderful grandparents. We're on vacation, right?

On the way back from the beach we stopped by the Newport Beach Temple. This is one of my very favorite temples. I was able to go to the open house and it's just so beautiful and unique. Rob had never seen it before, so I was glad we drove by. It was Monday, so the temple was closed, but we snuck in a couple of pictures.

And today has been nice too, even though I haven't been at Disneyland I had a nice day with my grandparents; they took me to lunch and even let me roam around a HUGE Babies R Us for awhile. I scored some sweet clearance deals on maternity clothes from the Target here, and have overall enjoyed the lovely weather and a relaxing day.

Whatever. Those jerks better have bought me a present.

Chole Graduates

2011-06-09T23:29:00.011-06:00

This week (right after my Gillette road trip, which you should make sure to read about below) my little sister Chloe graduated from high school. I spelled her name wrong on purpose in the title because they spelled her name wrong in the program and in her yearbook, and it was always in different ways: Chole, Clhoe, and the right way, which is Chloe.

Rob and Chloe, or "Cloisters" as he calls her. These two are great old buddies. They really have a cute relationship and I've always been happy that they're so close, so I really love this picture.

My grandma, me, Chloe, my lovely mama, and my other grandma. I thought this was a neat picture. I don't think I have another one like it from any other occasion.

It's been awhile since I've taken a "baby bump" shot (I really hate that expression, but there's really nothing better to call it unfortunately) so here I am at almost 25 weeks. This is my favorite maternity shirt, by the way. Bless you, Target. I wanted Rob to take another picture so I could have two to choose from, and this is what I got:

I was trying to flip my hair out of my face, but instead I look like a crazy diva. Rob likes this one better, so I'll post it in his honor.

Anyway, back to the star of the show, Miss Chloe. She graduated from my alma mater, dear old Jordan High. She was the 100th graduating class from Jordan, which meant the graduation was unfortunately held downtown and was super long and boring as all graduations are. Sorry Chloe, no offense. I was just as bored at my own two graduations.

Afterwards we went to Olive Garden with all the family and then back to the house for cake and presents. This is what we got for her:

I made her this little owl pillow. I wasn't super happy with how it turned out, but it's quirky and scrappy and kind of fun. We both love owls and I wanted to make something for her since she's redoing her room this summer. I think she liked it. I also got her a book, in true Vienna fashion; it was a cute Curious George graduation book.

Congratulations Chloe! You've got some awesome years ahead of you. I'm excited for our California trip starting in two days!!!

Goates Girls Weekend

2011-06-09T22:51:00.006-06:00

This past weekend I went on a grand road trip with my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law; destination: Gillette, Wyoming. Some of you may not know, but Rob spent some formative years in Gillette when his family was living their for his dad's work. Gillette is located basically in the middle of nowhere. (No offense to any Gillette natives. But really, there's nothing around it.) We drove up because Rob's oldest brother's wife Jenell was there visiting her family with her cute kiddos. They've been living in Florida for school, and just moved to Texas, and I've never met them, so this was an exciting weekend. Here are my cute nieces and nephew:

Aubrey, Rebecca, and Mason. Cute little blondies. Becca wouldn't look at the camera because I brought her some bubbles and she was distracted. You can't really blame her though. Bubbles are golden to small children.

We only went for the weekend, and I unfortunately didn't do a very good job at taking pictures. My sisters-in-law are both really good at taking lots of pictures, so I'm planning on stealing some of theirs.

On Saturday, we went to...

Mt. Rushmore! Cool, eh? I've never ventured out to the Black Hills of South Dakota before (and probably never will again) so it was really cool to visit. It's about two-and-a-half hours away from Gillette, so we made the drive and I'm really glad we got to see it.

Little known fact about me: I love the presidents. My friend Suzanne and I used to always sit around and talk about which ones were our favorites. I'm particularly partial to the two men on the right: crazy ol' Teddy Roosevelt and of course Abraham Lincoln. So since I love learning about all the Chiefs of State, Mt. Rushmore was pretty awesome.

Me, Teresa, and Chelsea at the main observation area. There's also a cool trail you can do where you walk up a bit closer. It was a beautiful day too; not too hot but sunny and warm. Good thing we went Saturday too because Sunday and Monday the weather turned much hotter, and I definitely wouldn't have enjoyed it anywhere near as much.

Here are all the sisters-in-law after church on Sunday. Me, Chelsea, Teresa, and Jenell. Chelsea and Jenell are both expecting too, and Teresa just got married in April, so it's a pretty exciting time for the Goates family. Rick and Jenell's older three were the only Goates grandkids to date, and now we're doubling the ranks all at once. Jenell is having a baby boy in August, I'm having a girl in September (not that you didn't already know that), and Chelsea finds out next week what her little bambino is and she's due in November, so it'll be a fun few months!

We had a really fun little trip and my mother-in-law was so great and generous. I wish I had a picture of her with us. I'm going to have to steal some soon so I can document the trip better. We also had the kids come swimming at our hotel pool, and it was so much fun. Those kids wore us right out but we loved playing with them. I wish they didn't live so far and that we could see them more often. Thanks to Mom Goates (and Dad Goates for making the arrangements and stocking the car with snacks) for such a great trip. I think we ought the make the Goates Girls Weekend an annual tradition.

Death Cab for Cutie

2011-06-02T11:27:00.001-06:00

This week my favorite band (except for the immortal Beatles, of course) came out with a new album. I’ve known about it for a long time and I should have been more excited than I was. My sister has been freaking out about it for months, and my other friends who love Death Cab for Cutie have been similarly enthusiastic.

It’s not that I wasn’t happy. A new album from your favorite band is always exciting. It’s like waiting for a present that will still be a surprise, but you’re almost guaranteed to like it. I just kept forgetting it was coming out. I’d remember, and get a little excited. I guess I’ve just had other things going on. It’s been a busy time settling into summer, not to mention a huge change that’s about to occur in our lives (you know, the baby) and that consumes all of my energy and thought (as you well know from everything I ever post on here).

I was a little sad that I wasn’t more excited. Last time they came out with a new album, I practically counted down the days, and I went to Target on my lunch to buy the CD, which I immediately played in my car for the rest of my break. After work I drove around aimlessly and listened to it a few more times. This week, I remembered the new album the night before and thought, “Oh I’ll just get it on iTunes (had a giftcard I needed to use) when I find some time after work.” Gone was the Death Cab fanatic I used to be, who would have insisted on going to the store and buying the actual album.

I got home from work and instead of getting on my computer, I decided to take advantage of the nice weather (finally) to finish spray painting my changing table, which is the bane of my existence right now. I was so preoccupied by this herculean task that it was another hour before I thought to get the album (while waiting for the primer to dry). My computer is old and slow, so it takes iTunes 10 years to download anything, so I sat there super annoyed while the album downloaded. I was going to listen to it on my ipod while I continued to paint, but I got impatient and left the computer (still downloading) to finish painting. Well, one can of paint, picking up Rob from work, a stop at Walmart, two more cans of paint, a shower, and a hastily-eaten dinner later, and it was 10:30 and I was exhausted.

I decided to lie in bed and listen to at least the first few songs. As they played, my thoughts, tangled and whirring from such a crazy day, began to unwind and I started to think about the memories I associated with Death Cab for Cutie and their last few albums.

Transatlanticism will always be my favorite. I was on a ginormous bus, riding through French countryside the first time I heard it. It was summer. I was 17. A girl in my group asked our guide if he’d throw a CD on, and it was Transatlanticism. I’ll never forget the first time I heard the first song: “So this is the New Year…and I don’t feel any different.” It was a new year for me, I’d soon be a senior, but I did feel different. I felt better, purer, more me than I ever had. I felt new. And so Transatlanticism will always be the soundtrack to that newness.

I was a senior in high school when Plans came out. I remember sitting alone in my car during AP test week and listening to this album, being nervous for my tests, but the excited kind of nervous. These AP tests were my last ones, and after that, graduation, and after that, summer. And after that, the beautiful, undiscovered country that was college life. I went to my first Death Cab concert that summer, and it was perfect. The gateway to my progression, and a life I couldn’t wait to begin.

After sophomore year of college, Narrow Stairs was released. That’s the one I bought on my lunch break and listened to all day. The album came out after one of the hardest times of my life. I still can’t tell you what was so terrible about sophomore year, at least not in concrete language, but after reflecting on it these three years I think it’s because I realized that growing up is not all reaching for the stars and dreams coming true, and hard work paying off. With those things come crippling fear, self-doubt, and an acquaintance with the ugliness in the world. So I was excited for this new Death Cab album, because I hoped it would help me feel like me again. I’d hoped it would remind me of France, and of the summer before college when all the world was still beautiful and mine.

It didn’t exactly work like that. I still had to grow up. And grow up I did, because about a month after that album came out I met Rob. So Death Cab ushered in another era of change for me.

Last night I thought about all of these albums and associations, and how I was on the threshold of something huge with each one. And I realized that yet again, they’ve done it to me. I’m about to transform again, with a new album as my soundtrack. I listened to the songs, which were well-crafted, lyrical, and lovely, as they always are and always have been. I thought about the girl I was in France. I thought about the young woman I was eager to become, that summer before college. I thought about the reluctant adult who listened to Narrow Stairs over and over again hoping it would give her permission not to grow up after all. I thought about the wife who followed shortly after her, someone who tries her hardest to bring the good and the beautiful in life into focus, to outweigh the dark. I thought about my little daughter, who was wiggling around as she usually does, late at night as I’m lying down to sleep.

And I stayed there, listening to the music, smiling and crying (pregnant much?) and I was so, so happy to discover that Death Cab for Cutie is still as good to me as they ever were. They have eased me into adulthood these past six years and I’m glad that there is a new album to ease me into my greatest and most wonderful transformation yet.

Nesting...both literally and figuratively

2011-05-31T19:31:00.011-06:00

For my examples of figurative nesting, here are some sneak peeks of the nursery:

Ignore me creeping around in the mirror. Some pretty things for Baby G's wall, and a hint about her name (not hard to figure out, just take that monogram and tack it on to the name of the cute print I cut out from the bakery bag we got in Greenich Village last fall)! Many of you probably already know it. We're not keeping it a secret, but I'm not going around shouting it either.

Is it just me, or does/did anyone else hate being asked the name question? We've had the name picked out since before I was pregnant, and we're sticking to it, and we ADORE it, but I still get nervous about people's reactions. Mostly because it's a pretty unique name. But seriously people, I grew up with the name Vienna, so vanilla names don't really do it for me. I just hate how people react. Most have been really nice, but some not so much. I don't get it. I would never do that, even if someone told me they were naming their kid something I hate (I'd give an example, but I'd be sure to offend SOMEONE, and then I'd be a hypocrite). It's just rude, and not anyone's business, frankly. I could write a whole post on her name, and I probably will, later, but we've gotta move on.

Hoot hoot. One of my greatest DI finds to date. You'll freak when you see the whole thing. (Sorry for the blurry photo. We can't all have fancy schmancy photos for our blogs.)

Baby Girl's first friends!!! When I was little I had about a bajillion stuffed animals, and I called them "friends". I never really liked dolls, and I still don't, so having a girl is going to be interesting. But whether she likes dolls or not, every kid loves stuffed animals, right? I still have a huge box of mine, proudly labeled, "Vienna's Friends." The little lion in her crib is mine (actually it's a bear dressed up as a lion, long story), and I made the crochet giraffe and the weird little panda. I didn't have a pattern for the panda so her ears are wonky, but I don't think Baby G will care. The ones on the right are from Ikea that I snagged this weekend. My sister Chloe bought one, the little rabbit driving a carrot car, and I got the giraffe driving the strawberry (oh what charming and delightful nonsense!) for $3 each!!! Bless you, you genius Swedes. They're rattles too, so I'm sure she'll love them. The tiny elephant on the left is the first sewing project I made last fall. He looks like he's been through a rough couple of decades at the circus, that one. But I'm sure she'll love to eat him, as babies often do.

You may have noticed this behind all the "friends," but here's another peek at my crib bumpers! I cannot tell you how ridiculously proud I am of these things. I was terrified to make them and I had sort of a weird idea in mind when I designed them, so I was worried they'd turn out to be crap. But I am really pleased with the results and they weren't nearly as scary or hard as I thought they'd be.

Just for the heck of it, here's my sweet giraffe again, and another teaser view of the bumpers. Don't you just love him? He's the first thing I made for Baby G, and I started working on him the day I found out I was pregnant.

And now for the literal nest. I have a story for you:

Last night I went to get a load of towels out of the drier. It had been two cycles, and they were still wet. So naturally, I began to sing my own rendition of the classic, folksy, Bob Dylan-authored tune:

"How many times must I dry these towels
before they are finally dry?"

From the living room, Rob chimed back:

"The answer my friend
is living in the vent
the answer is living in the vent!"

Aren't we precious(ly weird)? The song is called "Blowin' in the Wind," in case you are uncultured and have no idea what I'm talking about. Just kidding, I'm sorry for calling you uncultured. I have to realize that not many 20 somethings are familiar with 60s folk tunes.

Anyway, yes. We have a bird in our drier vent. Complete with nest and chirping babies.

It's been in there for probably a couple months. I know, gross. I like birds. I really love them. (Baby's nursery is going to feature several.) But it sort of creeps me out to think of them dirtying up my drier vent and preventing my clothes from being dry.

When we first noticed it, we only knew about the one bird. We were gonna tell the handy man, but then one morning I heard the first little chirpies, and we were then sure that one bird was actually mama bird. Rob and I decided it was bad karma to kill someone else's babies. And how could I live with myself? Baby birds?! Come on!

So until they're big enough to leave the vent, I guess we've got a couple of nesters hanging out 'round these parts.

But I think they're leaving fewer nail holes than I am. At least I certainly hope.

What's New, Mr. Magoo?

2011-05-20T15:12:00.003-06:00

Did you ever watch the old Mr. Magoo cartoons? My grandma gave us a Mr. Magoo video when I was little with a bunch of the crazy old guy's silly escapades and they are just so hilarious. My favorite is the one where he goes into the gold mine that he thinks is a movie theater. He tries to eat gold nuggets because he thinks they're popcorn.

Speaking of popcorn, I am craving movie theater popcorn like it's nobody's business. On two occasions I have begged Rob to go over to the theater across the street from our house and buy some for me. He doesn't like doing it. It embarrasses him because he's not actually going to a movie, so he buys the popcorn and walks out, and feels really stupid. He also doesn't understand why I can't just eat the Orville Redenbacher that he bought at Sam's Club. It's just not the same.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. 22 weeks. Weight gain is right on the money, which is a relief, because I refuse to weigh myself at home, and they didn't weigh me at my ultrasound, so it had been seven whole weeks since I'd been weighed and I was anxious. But everything's good. He measured me though and said "You're not going to be able to hide much longer." I didn't think I was hiding before, but I guess things are about to pop or something. Guess it's time to commit to some maternity jeans.

Baby G's heartbeat was perfect as usual, except it sounded crazy because she is a mover and a shaker these days. The movement hasn't gotten really crazy yet; no little feet poking out or anything like that. Rob has only felt her kick once. He's getting kind of frustrated because I'll call him over when she's moving a lot and he'll put his hand on my belly and then she'll promptly stop moving. He thinks she hates him. That's nonsense of course, because the two of them are going to get on famously. I tell him she's probably just being shy. I hope she'll throw him a bone and start cooperating soon, because he's really excited to feel her kicking and moving around.

I'm working on the nursery, but I'm trying to be chill about it. It's actually going well. I only actually do things when I feel like it, which both saves my energy and my sanity, and it keeps the whole process enjoyable. I plan to paint the changing table tomorrow if it ever stops raining, and I still have lots of sewing to do. I can't decide if I'm going to post my progress as I have pictures, or wait until it's done for a grand reveal, but sooner or later you'll see it on here. I really love this part of being pregnant. It's so fun to search for cool things for her room, and to work on projects for her. I think it's going to turn out to be my favorite room in our apartment. Not that the competition is fierce, but still.

I've managed to stop buying baby clothes for the time being. Which is a relief, because when I first started I was convinced stopping was going to be a real problem. I didn't actually buy that much, just so you're not sitting there thinking I've gone insane. I made a rule that I only buy things that are a good deal and things that I absolutely love. I haven't even let myself look lately though, so Baby Girl's wardrobe is on hold for now. I'm waiting for showers of course, and also for fall and winter clothes to come out, so I can get some bargains on the summer things for next year and also get some things for her to wear when it's cold. I can't wait for that. Little baby cardigans. Oh yes.

We've got a busy June full of road trips and family stuff coming up, so I'm trying to keep things pretty quiet for the rest of May. I was possessed by an incredible urge to drive down to Salt Lake this weekend so we can go to Ikea to look for some things I need for the nursery (and to eat some cinnamon rolls), but I took a step back and realized I can do that another time, and I might as well take care of the things I can do here. That being said, I do hope to have things almost finished before the summer gets extra hot and I get extra huge. I just don't want to be scrambling to get things done, and it is important to me that they do get done, so I'd like to do everything I can now while I feel pretty good.

I realized something crazy this week. I think I'll miss being pregnant. Back around 12 weeks if you'd told me I'd say this one day I'd have punched you right in the mouth, but these last couple weeks have been really sweet. Since I found out she's a girl, I don't have to obsess over not knowing or be anxious about it, and I can shop if I want, or work on her nursery, so I feel like I'm being productive. I also adore feeling her little wiggles and kicks. It's the most magical thing. Of course I'm sure that holding her in my arms is going to be a million times better, but I'm really content right now, and I think I will miss this feeling. I'm so grateful for this contentment, because I'm sure come third trimester, when it's super hot and I'm not sleeping well and my back hurts all the time, I'll be more than ready to not be pregnant any more. Maybe this second trimester stuff they all go on about is part of the reason why people decide to have more than one baby. Because it really is something.

Book of the Month: May

2011-05-13T15:01:00.001-06:00

So I kind of skipped April. Not that I didn’t read during April, because I definitely did. I finished Mansfield Park. Guess what you guys? It was so not as boring as I anticipated. The beginning was slow, and the protagonist was difficult for me to relate to. She’s a very mousy and sickly young woman, and has absolutely zero Elizabeth Bennett/Emma Woodhouse spunk or gumption. But you feel sorry for her eventually, and you realize from the ridiculousness of the characters around her that she really is a pretty sensible, modest young woman. And really, the plot wasn’t at all as boring as they say. Maybe I was just expecting ultra-boring, so I was pleasantly surprised. My only big complaint is that the love interest is the protagonist’s first cousin. I know that was alright back then, but I’m sorry, it’s weird. It would be one thing if they were cousins that never met, and then when they when they did they fell in love or something, but no, they’re basically raised in the same house like brother and sister. And then they get married. Miss Austen actually uses the phrase “wedded cousins” at one point. Gross.

But anyway, if you like Jane Austen (and why wouldn’t you?) then Mansfield Park is worth a read. But only if you’ve read all of the other ones first, because they are definitely better.

I failed to choose a book of the month for April, but since I finally conquered MP, and it was a busy month for us, I’m cutting myself some slack. For May, I had planned for my next book to be something really epic. One of the Russian novels I’ve got waiting on my shelf, or perhaps Les Miserables, which I’ve always wanted to tackle.

But then when I walked to my shelf to grab one of those books, an inexplicable urge took me and I knew that instead I just needed me some Charles Dickens. So I grabbed Nicholas Nickleby, and that is what I am currently reading.

A word about Dickens. Love. That is my word about him. But seriously, I love Charles Dickens. I know that millions of high school students have been trained to hate him passionately for decades, but I just adore him, and in the last several years I’ve made it a goal to read every one of his novels. I first read Tale of Two Cities in high school, and while difficult, I thought it was such a beautiful story and such complex and sophisticated writing. Next was Great Expectations, which is really just delightful. I constantly am hoping that I will have a mysterious private benefactor give me a bunch of money one day. Then I read David Copperfield, which is one of my top three favorite books of all time. It’s long, with a lengthy list of insane characters (as per usual Dickens), and I can’t really adequately describe why it’s so wonderful, but it is, just ask anyone who’s ever read it and they’ll agree. I sobbed when I finished it, and not because the end is sad, but because it was over and I had grown so very attached to Davie=d and Peggotty and Betsy Trotwood.

I thought I enjoyed Dickens before, but David Copperfield sealed the deal. I’m totally hooked on his writing and his stories. I just love reading those big fat novels that take ages to get through and have insane people for characters, unexpected plot twists, and shrewd, poignant social commentaries. I also think that Dickens is laugh-out-loud hysterically funny. Maybe I need my sense of humor examined, but it totally is. Also, my favorite English professor in school is a Dickens scholar, so I got to meet with him during office hours as he helped me navigate my way through Bleak House (a Victorian trip-fest if there ever was one) and soak in his genius on the subject.

Since I’ve graduated I've read a couple more, but both Hard Times and Oliver Twist are among the shorter novels, so I thought it was high time to read me a huge one, so Nicholas it is.

So far it’s everything I could hope for. Super long. A tale of a young poor chap trying to make his way in the world. Hilariously bizarre characters with names like Newman Noggs and Wackford Squeers. A biting social criticism of everything that is wrong with Victorian England (which is a lot).

I haven’t had a lot of time to read lately, so I haven’t made much progress, but I am thoroughly enjoying getting lost in yet another Dickens. Have I converted you? Are you going to go read David Copperfield right now? Probably not. But I tried.

20

2011-05-05T18:34:00.002-06:00

20 weeks. And a sneak peek at Baby G(irl)'s crib.

And the results are in...

2011-05-01T18:48:00.009-06:00

Guess what? Friday finally came. Our appointment for our ultrasound was at 9:00 that morning and luckily once we got there we didn't have to wait at all. The tech took us back and away we went. Wouldn't you know it, Baby G was fast asleep. The tech kept shaking my stomach trying to get baby to wake up so he could measure the head. Baby was not pleased.

But happily, we were able to eventually make sure that all the organs and parts were there and as they should be. He said the baby looks fantastic and everything is great. And.....

SHE is lovely. Yes, we're having a little girl. We are both so excited and we can't wait to meet her. It's so nice to be able to call our little baby a she and not an "it" anymore. We don't really have any great pictures because sleepy girl doesn't like showing her face. Every time he would go near her little head she would turn it or cover her face with her hands. Shy little bebe girl :)

After our appointment we called our family and friends and shared the news. Then we got some breakfast and headed down to Ogden (because they have Target, Babies R Us, and a Carter's store) to go shopping for our little girl!!! I was so looking forward to this. I've been so good and I haven't bought any clothes (except a little Valentine's outfit that was on clearance that was, luckily, for a girl) yet, so I was looking forward to finally getting some little baby outfits.

Rob and I went to Target and did our baby registry! Registries are so much fun. And the baby one was way more fun than when we registered for our wedding. I dunno, but tiny hooded towels are much more fun to pick out than dish towels. The only downside to shopping was the realization that while girl clothes are generally cuter than boy clothes (I kept squealing about little dresses. A lot.), with all the other stuff and accessories for babies, I tend to like the boy things better.

Why? Because everything for girls is pink. Sigh. I know I've talked about my pink aversion here. I just don't really like it. And I didn't want to buy anything pink for our girl because I know that's what everyone is going get for her, because that's just the way it is. But for boys they have such cool geometric patterns, and great colors for things like towels and boppies and other things. Finally after I complained about it for a few minutes and tried to register for a few boy things for my daughter, Rob put down the registering gun thing and said "Vienna. We're having a GIRL. She's going to have some pink stuff. You're going to have to deal with it."

So I registered for a pink boppy. And actually, I really love it. It's got owls on it. I'm trying to resign myself to pink. In moderation, of course.

After a fun day of shopping for little miss, we came back to Logan. Okay, actually I locked the keys in the car while we were there and we had to wait for roadside assistance. But other than that, it was a great day.

Here are some of Baby G's (haha, G stands for girl now too!) new clothes!

Oh how I love little dresses. Notice that there's even a little pink there. I'm trying. Also while we were at Babies R Us, we found the travel system I'd originally wanted on sale! I won't bore you with the epic story, but I found this particular travel system months ago and wanted it, but obviously wasn't going to buy it right away. Then a couple weeks ago I looked for it online and it was gone! You couldn't get it anywhere. So I'd been looking at different options, but when we were there they had it, and for even cheaper! Rob pushed the stroller around and said we might as well get it since it magically reappeared and was on sale. So we bought it, and of course Rob had to put it together right when we got home.

And all weekend I've been in a craze getting that room cleaned out. Rob has been a good sport and has lugged furniture around for me for the last 24 hours. we got all of the furniture out of the baby's room and I am so happy. We moved the desk into the kitchen and it looks great in there, and we moved our gargantuan bookcase into our bedroom. Then we rearranged all of our bedroom furniture until the setup was better. So basically we've been crazy here and I'm pretty sure I overexerted myself, but I'm pretty happy that we got so much done. Now it's just tidying up and then I can be on to the fun parts of decorating the nursery!

What the Old Wives Have To Say....

2011-04-27T17:21:00.004-06:00

I know this blog has turned into All Baby, All the Time, and I apologize. But I’ve wanted to do this particular post the whole time I’ve been pregnant, and it’s the last chance I’ll have.

Also, we really have not much else going on. I promise you, nothing. So, without further apology or ado, here is yet another pregnancy post. There are many “old wives tales” that predict the gender of your baby, so I thought I’d list them out and take a tally before we find out for sure.

Now, a disclaimer. I don’t actually believe any of these, and in fact some of them are scientifically proven to be invalid (heart rate, how high you carry, etc.). Really there’s a 50% chance of them being right anyway, which is why they work for some people, but since every pregnancy is so different, it’s all just fun and games.

1. If you crave salty foods, it’s a boy. If you want sweets, you’re having a girl. I’m way more of a salty snack gal, especially since being pregnant, so for this one the results point to BOY.

2. However, they say if you crave citrus, it’s a girl. I’ve been throwing back orange juice and pineapple like nobody’s business, so that would point to a GIRL. (I don't like pink, so let's go with red.)

3. They say if you are “carrying” high, it’s a girl, and low, it’s a boy. My baby bump is not super big yet, so it’s been hard to tell, but so far it’s high, which = GIRL.

4. On the other hand, if you carry all out front, it’s supposed to be a boy, and if you carry, um, wider, it’s a girl. I’m pretty much all out front (most days, I think) so for this one I say BOY.

5. If the baby’s heart rate is higher than 140 beats per minute, the baby is a girl. At our last appointment, the heart rate was 152 beats per minute, so that’d make it a GIRL.

6. If you are sick, they say it's a girl. There is actually some truth to this, and my mom was sicker with both girls than with her boy (though my poor friends who puked a ton and had boys are shaking their heads right now). I have been pretty darn sick, so I’m going with GIRL.

7. If your husband gains “sympathy weight,” expect a girl. Well, Rob’s gained about 14 lbs (you can’t tell of course since he’s so thin anyway), so I’d say that means GIRL.

8. Getting headaches means you’re having a boy. Well, I get one nearly every day, so BOY it is.

9. If you prefer sleeping on your right side, you’re having a girl; left side, boy. I try to sleep on my left side since they say it's best for blood flow during pregnancy, but it’s nowhere near as comfortable as the right, so…GIRL.

10. If your hands are always dry, it’s a boy. If they are smooth and soft, it’s a girl. I ALWAYS have super dry hands in the winter. But they’ve been unusually smooth, meaning it's a GIRL.

11. If you are “graceful” during pregnancy, expect a girl. If you’re clumsy and all over the place, it’s a boy. Well, I have not noticed any increase in clumsiness, but I did have an epic near-face-plant experience a couple weeks ago (luckily only my sister saw, cause man, was that embarrassing). So I don’t know if that one event tips the scale in favor of a BOY. ?

12. They say that if you are carrying a girl, she “steals her mother’s beauty.” This makes me laugh, because it totally sounds like something an old wife would say. Basically, if you break out, or feel generally less attractive than you did before you were pregnant, then it’s a beauty-stealing girl. I did break out a little in the beginning, and in my first trimester I felt SUPER unattractive all the time. However, now that I’m in my second trimester, I don’t feel like I look any different than I did before. Because I don’t know if this wives tale applies only to the first trimester, I’d have to say the results are INCONCLUSIVE.

13. (I thought a superstitious number was appropriate for a superstitious list.) The Chinese Gender Prediction Chart. Google it. It’s weird. There are several different ones; you enter your birthday and the time of conception and then it tells you. I’ve done a few, and they all say GIRL.

Grand Total: BOY: 4 GIRL: 8

In summary, it seems that according to legend, we are having a GIRL. We shall see if the old wives are to be believed on Friday morning (can I just tell you that I’m DYING?!!!) As for you all, here is your last chance to place your bets and friendly wagers.

A Second Trimester-ing We Go

2011-04-21T15:36:00.004-06:00

I'm 18 weeks today. I didn't expect this, but the second tri has gone by much faster than the first.

The Perks

- I don't get nauseous all day every day anymore. I still feel a bit queasy from time to time, but it's been awhile since I've thrown up, so I'm happy.
- Some of my former energy is back. I expected more, but after the three-month-long coma that was the first trimester, I'll take what I can get. It was enough so I was able to head bravely into the abyss of the second bedroom. I cleaned up and organized all of my stuff, now what's left is Rob's old school junk and a few other odds and ends that I can't really do anything about without his help, so probably not until the semester ends in two weeks. I think the biggest problem will be deciding where to move the desk and GIANT bookcase. But I am happy because the room is not really as messy as I thought it was.
- Yesterday Rob and I met up on campus for a second (it's finals and such, so I haven't seen much of him lately). He said to me "You know what's cool?" "What's cool?" "We're having a baby." He said it's finally starting to sink in for him. You know how it is with men. They don't deal with the physical or emotional aspects of early pregnancy, so it takes a little longer for things to feel real. I was happy to hear him say that. And yes, it is cool. It's about the coolest thing ever.
- I'm showing now, which I love, because a little belly is so much cuter than the horrible spare-tire thing that happened to me at first.
- Biggest pro to second trimester, hands down, is feeling my little bebe move. I first felt it at 16 weeks, but in the past week I've felt it every day consistently throughout the day. It's such a fun surprise every time I feel a little squirm or kick.

The Drawbacks

- It took longer than I thought for the second trimester "magic" that everyone talked about to set in. I hoped for it at 12 weeks, then 13, then 14, and it didn't really come until 17, so that made it hard for me. Everyone is different, so advice and other people's experiences only take you so far. You can't really expect anything for certain.
- Round ligament pain. I had no idea what in the world this was, and I thought I knew all the pregnancy discomforts. I woke up with a really sharp pain in my lower abdomen one morning and I got worried because it didn't go away, so I called the doctor. Luckily it's just your ligaments and stuff stretching out as baby grows, common and nothing to worry about, but man, it really hurts.
- Headaches, pretty much every day. I have always gotten migraines though, so I'm not surprised by this one.
- I'm am very rapidly running out of clothes that fit. I'm still battling with maternity clothes. Thanks to my mom, I've gotten two shirts, one pair of pants, and one dress that I like, but four items of clothing are not really going to get me very far. I want to buy more of the shirts in other colors; they're just basic tees from Old Navy's maternity line and I really like them, but the Old Navy in Logan is lame and doesn't have any maternity clothes, and online they don't have my size in a single color.
- Also I think it's ridiculous that they think they can charge more for a shirt just because it's maternity. I'm sorry, but I really don't think that's five whole dollars worth of extra material.

The Cravings

- Limeades from Sonic, mostly because their ice is my favorite thing in the world. I love to eat it after my drink is gone, that delicous, limey, cubey ice.
- Cafe Rio (also has cubey ice, incidentally), which may not have anything to do with being pregnant, since it's basically all I ever want, ever, and has been for at least five years. But Baby G seems to like it right fine as well.
- Turkey sandwiches, with lots of mustard. AAAAND my doctor recently said that cold cuts are fine in moderation, as long as you get trusty brands and from clean places. So I'ma get me one here one of these days. Soon.
- French fries, especially from Mickey D's.
- Strawberries and raspberries. That will be one good thing about being pregnant in the summer, berries will be in season. (I'm trying not to think about how wretchedly hot it's going to be; I'm planning on buying a baby pool for behind my house.)

The Fun Stuff

- I bought my diaper bag! I wasn't intending on buying one so early, but a couple weeks ago on zulily.com they had my favorite bag for fifty-freaking-percent off! So I bought that sucker because stuff on zulily goes fast. Here is a picture of the lovely thing; I'm so excited for it to arrive! :
- I bought Bebe G's first dubbies! What the crap am I talking about, you ask? Well, see, when I was a wee babe, I somehow conjured the word "dubby" to refer to my pacifier. As the first grandchild, naturally my entire family started calling them dubbies. And we all have, ever since. I didn't even have any idea what a "binkie" was until I was like eight. But anyway, yes. I was at Target one night and just itching to buy some cute little baby thing, so I got a two-pack of gender-neutral colored, old-school style (you know, with the little handles) dubbies. It curbed my need, and any baby of mine is going to need plenty of those things, because just ask my parents, I had like a zillion. And according to my mom I was five when they finally got rid of them. This is, of course, an exaggeration. Although, I'm not really sure how much. But I turned out just fine.
- I've also gotten some fun children's books. I've been collecting them over the years because I love them anyway, so I've already got a good start to Baby's library, but I had to buy the Poky Little Puppy (even though the story is pretty lame) and Richard Scarry's Best Storybook Ever, which I had as a little 'un and adored. I can't wait to read bedtime stories to my baby.
- Only one week (AAAAHHHH!) from tomorrow until we find out!
- I was going to take an 18 week picture, because I really do feel like I'm a lot bigger even though it's only been a week, but I don't think I really want to take one every week. Seems superfluous.

Growing

2011-04-13T16:49:00.014-06:00

I'm growing.

And so is my baby...

...and so is my baby's book collection. I've been buying some of my old favorites for Baby G. These pictures were taken today, by a very good sport (Rob) who was forced to take a bajillion of them so I could pick which ones I liked the best. Tomorrow I'll be 17 weeks, so the little 'un is just getting bigger every day.

Speaking of growing, the Goates family has been doing some, aside from babies. Rob's sister Teresa got married last weekend, so we added Jason to the family. The wedding was really nice, but I didn't take a ton of pictures. I'm hoping when she gets the real ones back that I can steal some of the Goates family ones, because I don't really have very many of us all together. But here are a few of the ones I did manage to snap:

Steve, Rick, Teresa, Jason, Rob, and Jon

The Goates men, looking sharp. It's never a dull time with them around.

See? I can't even tell you what they're doing here. Being weird, by the looks of it.

I also got to meet Rob's oldest brother Rick for the first time ever. Can you believe that I've been married to Rob for over two years and hadn't met my own brother-in-law? He and his family were living in Florida, and now they live in Texas, so we haven't seen them since I've been married to Rob. It was really great to hang out with him and Rob was really happy he was here. I hope I don't have to wait too much longer before I can meet his wife and cute kiddos.

And here am I. I don't really look super pregnant here, but this is 16 weeks along. Those are the bridesmaid shirts, and mine was rather too small up top. But it was purchased when I was only eight weeks along, and I had no idea how my body would change or when those changes might occur, so there was nothing I could really do about it. It looked much cuter on the other sisters-in-law. But oh well.

It was a nice, albeit, crazy weekend. Weddings always are that way. Also, this was the second of the four weekends in a row we will be in Salt Lake this month, and I am glad they are half-way over. First of all, while I love being with family on these weekends, the driving back and forth combined with two really packed days always wears me out. I always feel like I need more weekend to recover from my weekend. And also, this month can speed by as fast as it likes, because not only is April my least favorite month, but at the end of it, meaning in approximately two weeks, we have our big ultrasound!

Yes, I know I mention this like every time I post. And every time you talk to me probably. But trust me, it's pretty much all you think about when you're in my shoes.

About a Boy...or a Girl

2011-04-04T15:29:00.002-06:00

Reasons Why I Want a Girl:

*I love love love the girl name we have picked out.
*Have you SEEN baby girl clothes? WAY more options, and most are much cuter (easier to find, at least).
*On a related note I am not fond of sports or sports paraphernalia, and neither is Rob, so I'd like to have a girl so we could just avoid onesies and jumpers with basketballs or "Daddy's Little All-Star" altogether for awhile.
*I'm a first-born girl myself, so I've always been comfortable with the idea of having a girl first.
*It seems like most of the people I know (not all, obviously) are having or have had boys recently, so I'd like to balance things out a bit.
*I have way more cute ideas for the nursery if it's a girl. I'm a little bit stumped when it comes to boy ideas.
*I think there are more (and cuter) things you can make for baby girls. Headbands. Flowers. Little hats.
*My grandma is convinced it's a girl and has already started making "her" a blanket. I think that's sweet and so I kind of hope she's right.
*I have these lovely Princess figurines that I collected; I used to get one every time I went to Disneyland. I have kept them packed away since I've been married, since they're pretty girly, but I really want to get them out and put them in my baby girl's room, along with some of my other girlhood treasures.
* I want to have at least one daughter.

Reasons Why I Want a Boy:

*We've had a boy name picked out for like two years and I love that one too.
*Actually, we have a few boy names we love, but only one girl name, with no runners up even close. So if we have more boys than girls, it would probably be good. As far as names go, at least.
*For most of our married life, and most of my adult life, I wanted a boy first. Only in the last year or so have I liked the idea of having a girl first, so the boy first idea is more familiar.
*I once taught a Primary class comprised entirely of six-year-old boys and we got on together like a house on fire. Sometimes literally. Exhausting. But always an adventure.
*We have this awesome Beatles poster in our second bedroom and I can only keep it in there if we have a boy. It just doesn't go with my girl nursery plans. And I'm really attached to it.
*Sweater vests, plaid shirts, and other tiny gentleman clothing.
*I HATE the color pink. HATE it.
*I would love to spike up his cute little hair.
*Though I can't make any flowers or headbands, I can still crochet beanies, booties, and toys for a little mister.
*I want to have at least one son.

Book of the Month: March (kinda)

2011-03-28T17:20:00.003-06:00

Guess what you guys?! I finished Tess of the d'Urbervilles last night! Finally. And you know what? The end was awesome. The book is really beautifully written and it is a powerful commentary on Victorian notions of gender and class (ahh, I almost feel like I'm back in lit class. Beautiful sigh.), so academically, it's a great read. As a book that you're reading just because, it's not my first choice. It is super, extremely, muchly depressing. Poor Tess basically never had a chance. I was also really annoyed because the back of my copy of the book gave away a lot of the plot, so there wasn't really much suspense along the way.

Until I got to the end. The conclusion of Tess's sad story totally took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting it at all, and while it is also super depressing and really morbid, I loved how it turned out. I will not spoil it for you, in case you want to read it. (Plus I'd have to basically tell you the entire plot in order for the end to make sense, and there's just not time, or any real purpose, for that.)

I obviously did not finish (or start) February's book, Mansfield Park. But I'm not on to that one just yet. I think I'm going to skip it because I know I will read it someday, maybe even later this year, and I'm not really feeling it right now. So now I need a new read, and I've found one. I doubt I'll finish by the end of March, but I started it at least. Want to know what it is? Of course you do. (Just kidding, you might not, but I figure if you're reading this you probably do.)

This is going to come as a shock.

The book I've chosen is Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott, and I chose it because I've never read it. I know, collective gasp from all of my bookish friends. What kind of girl, a girl who has been a bookworm from the time she could read, has NOT read Little Women?

Me, I guess. Here's the thing. My aunt gave me a copy of LW when I was pretty young, maybe eight. I read it, and I liked it (are you confused? Just wait.). A few years later, someone else gave me a copy of it, since it is of course the perfect gift for a young lady who likes to read. Well, this copy was like a bajillion times thicker than the one I had read. Now I was confused.

The one I had read was a particular edition called "Great Illustrated Classics." Maybe you remember. They're classics for kids that have a picture on every page and are most liberally abridged. Only it doesn't exactly say that on the cover, and they were still substantially thick, so I thought I had been reading the real deal. I dunno why the crappy pictures on EVERY page didn't give it away, but I was only eight.

So I set out to rectify my oversight and read the real deal. But I just couldn't get into it. I already knew (the gist of) what happened, and there were just so many other things to read, so I never got around to it. I know, I know. Shame on me. It's only like one of the most formative literary experiences a young girl can have, but whatever.

And what's worse, I never admitted I hadn't read it. I just sort of implied that I had, without directly lying. I could always carry on conversations with my friends (all of whom had read and LOVED Little Women) because I had read my Great Illustrated Classic version, and of course I'd seen the movie (where I first beheld the beauty of Christian Bale...).

Anyway, a year or so ago I finally confessed to my friend Cameo that I had never actually read it. She was shocked. And she may have judged me. But she also thought it was funny that I pretended to have read it all these years.

Last week my dear friend Suzanne came home from her mission (I only have one picture documenting this and I look hideous in it, so you're not seeing it, sorry.). Little Women is (or was, at one point) in Suzanne's top three favorite books of all time. Her other two are the same as two of mine, so we like a lot of the same books. Well, more to honor her homecoming than because I really want to, I'm going to read Little Women and make an honest woman (and reader) of myself.

Now you know my shame. I also read Frankenstein, and a few others, in the Great Illustrated Classics (but I went back and read the real Frankenstein in school, and that book is AWESOME). I found out when I was dating Rob that he had read a bunch too and also thought they were the real versions of the books, so I was immediately endeared to him, and also I felt a little better about myself. Anyone else make this mistake? Anyone go around claiming at the age of 10 that you had read some epic novel that in reality is like 1,000 pages?

Just Rob and me?

Okay.

Me.

2011-03-25T23:12:00.002-06:00

Lately I've been kind of blue. I won't go into details; it's mostly lots of little things. I've been talking to some of my dearest friends and I've sort of noticed a trend. We're all a bit blue these days. We all have our different reasons, and I do think it's just a weird time of life that we're in. Recently my friend Karissa wrote a great post about Jones Soda, how it is one of her favorite things, and how it helps her find her "me-ness" when she's lost it. I've been thinking about that, and I decided I need to think about some of the things that help me remember my me-ness too. One of them is probably making bulleted lists of things I like, so how appropriate that I am going to employ one right now.

- My mother always calls me her blonde baby. I love my blonde hair. I can chop it all off and not shed a tear, or change the shade of blonde, but I think I will always be a blondie.

- No matter how old I get, how my tastes change, or what happens to me, I will always, always love the Beatles.

- I really miss studying French. I love speaking it, reading it, learning about the culture, and I can think of few times in my life when I felt more "me" than when I was in France. I know I will go back there someday, and sometimes my heart just aches for that feeling. The French feeling.

- I am driven to create. I believe that most people are, that it's something ingrained in us, but I feel it particularly strongly. Whether it's writing something, crocheting, or cupcakes, I always feel better after I've made something.

- I talk a lot. A lot a lot. That's why my blog posts are so long.

- I never feel guilty spending money on books. I love owning them, I don't like borrowing them or checking them out, and I don't like lending my books to other people. I love the bittersweet feeling of accomplishment after I've finished a book. I love turning pages. I love reading a well-crafted sentence. I love the way books look when they're new; perfect and ready to be read. I love how they look once I've finished; spine cracked, pages thickened, from being experienced. I love books.

- I love long car rides. Especially when I'm not driving.

- Part of my heart will always be in Southern California. Even though I've only lived there a small fraction of my life, as my birth place, and the setting of so many favorite childhood memories, it will always be part of me.

- I'll never stop buying/making/wearing hats. I think I have more hats than pairs of shoes.

- I don't care how crappy I feel after I've taken one, I adore naps. Long ones.

- There is no other feeling in the world that compares to visiting an art museum I've never been to before, turning a corner, and seeing a painting that I've studied, that I didn't know was housed in that museum. I often gasp or say something like "NO WAY!" really loudly and people stare. Also, there's nothing quite like going to a museum for the first time, knowing that a painting I love is there, and finally seeing it when I walk into the right gallery.

- In fact, there's nothing in the world quite like going to an art museum. And staying there, for a long, long time.

- Teachers always love me. I don't know what it is, but I just have a way with them. Also, I love school and I don't know if I'll ever find anything else that I'm better at than being a good student. I kind of hope I do, because school is over, for now.

- My favorite movie is Sense and Sensibility. Every so often I just need to watch it, when I'm sad, or when I'm happy, or for no reason at all. I just get this feeling, this undeniable pull, that it's time to watch Sense and Sensibility. And I never get tired of it.

- I love traveling. Not just going on vacation, but really traveling. Staying in crummy hotels in dodgy parts of big cities; walking, walking, and walking for miles. Using dirty yet highly-efficient public transportation. Seeing culturally and historically important places and things. When I was single, I used to save up all my money and then go on an awesome trip. It meant that I never had any money, but I had fantastic experiences instead. I hope that we can continue to do that as a family. Except I don't really want to take my kids to crummy hotels in dodgy parts of town. At least not when they're little.

- I love my name. I love the way it looks in writing, the way it sounds when spoken, and I'm so very glad that my father insisted on naming me Vienna.

Obviously I could probably think of more things. The people in my life that I love, for one thing, are a huge part of my "me-ness." The people I love most are the people that I can be myself with, the people who know a lot of these things I've written, and who make me feel like, me.

I think when life gets overwhelming, which it does more often than not it seems, it helps me to think about all of these things that I love, and things that make me who I am. I just forgot that I guess. And there's nothing more discouraging than forgetting yourself. So I'm going to start trying harder to remember me.